When It Comes to Love
by Joker is Poker with a J
Summary: Vivian doesn't need anymore men in her life. With an unruly 6 yr old, an abusive, and dead, husband and a crazy debt collector, she thinks she's had all she can take. Until she meets her attractive neighbor. Second in the Benjamin Hotel Series.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

_"It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man." - Miranda Ingram_

**December 18****th****, 1904**

Vivian Gallagher held tight to her sons' hand as the preacher concluded the speech. It had been a long, tedious diatribe about the countless good qualities her husband had possessed. Tears had begun to fall down her cheeks almost at once, giving the illusion that she was mourning the death of this man who had, in the words of the preacher who had never once met nor lived with Shawn Gallagher, 'been a loyal, dedicated husband and father.' In truth, the tears were of laughter and since she knew it would not be right to laugh at her husband's funeral they were the only things she could allow herself to let out.

Funerals usually concluded with a small gathering at ones' home after the burial, but since the only relatives she had left lived across an entire ocean she had foregone that tradition. Especially since all of three people had shown up to the cemetery.

One of them was her middle-aged neighbor, Mrs. Mclean; the second person was her employer, Matthew Cain who owned Cain's Candies on East 48th Street. The third person was a man she'd never seen before. He was tall, broad-shouldered, with shaggy brown hair and intense gray eyes. She felt a wave of uneasiness when his eyes slid to her.

The preacher shook her hand as the ceremony concluded and the men who worked there slowly lowered the casket. She picked up a handful of dirt and threw it on top of the wooden box that contained her husband. _Good riddance_, she thought, wanting to grab her son and go far away from the preacher who spoke untruths, the gravestone that lied, and all those who thought she gave a damn for the corpse that lay at her feet. Bitter emotions climbed their way up her throat and she swallowed to keep herself from shouting words that would have her mother rolling over in her grave.

Who was in control now? She thought, angrily, as Wesley, her four-year-old son mimicked her actions and threw dirt into the grave. Before he could throw anymore, she picked him up and sat him on her hip, meeting his jade, green eyes as snow began to softly fall around them. "We'll never see daddy again?" He asked, cocking his head to the side.

Brushing back a bit of his soft, wheat colored hair, she told him, "No, honey. Daddy's gone with the angels." _Devils_, she thought but would never say to her son. Wesley put his head on her shoulder, cuddling into the curvature of her neck as Mrs. Mclean came up to her to give her condolences.

Vivian thanked her, knowing Mrs. Mclean was only doing it for show. She alone knew exactly the sort of hell Vivian had gone through the last three years.

Mr. Cain was next, holding out his hand, honestly speaking his own commiserations before adding, "I'll give you whatever time off you need." He was a sweet man, only just thirty years old, with light brown hair already streaked with gray and soft, pale blue eyes. He had taken over his father's candy shop a year or so after his father had hired her and had always treated her kindly and respectfully.

She forced a smile at his thoughtfulness but shook her head, "I can only afford a day or so more."

He nodded in understanding before patting her one last time on the back and turning to leave. Mrs. Mclean stood beside her, almost protectively, as the last person approached her. A feeling of dread settled in her stomach as he gave her a cursory glance, taking in her long-sleeved black dress, its collar buttoned to the top, and her black hat with a small black veil pulled over her face.

"I'm sorry, M'am, foah ya loss." He glanced at Mrs. Mclean before adding, "Would ya mind if I had a woid wit' ya, alone?"

Vivian found that thought to be gut-wrenching, but she saw no reason to refuse him. She handed Wesley to her neighbor before gesturing to a bench in sight of her son and friend but out of earshot. "What is it that I can do for you, Mr…?"

"Ridley, Robert Ridley." He told her, hastily, before adding, "It's unusual foah me ta come here ta a man's funeral, ya see, but I wasn't quite shoah showing up at ya place would have been best eithah…ya see, Mrs. Gallagher, ya husband had quite the debt with my boss."

A curse nearly slipped out of her mouth but she caught it in time, "I…who is your boss, if I may ask?"

Ridley grinned proudly a second before it vanished and he glanced around, "Uh, a mistah William Bailey. Goes by Barkers, m'am. Ya husband, a few weeks ago, lost a large sum of money ta him in a game of cards. We came ta collect in time ta find out about his passing."

Angry tears pricked her eyes as she realized he'd gotten the last laugh, "I see…and uh, how much was that 'large sum'?"

When he told her, she nearly threw up right then and there. Leave it to Shawn to lose a ton of money and then die. It was just like the selfish bastard. "Is there…is there any way you can give me…time? I just lost my husband, I had no clue about this debt, and I had to pay for this funeral…" A funeral for a man she had despised, one who had attacked her physically and verbally; never once had he given her a moment of peace.

Robert Ridley nodded, "I undahstand. My boss is offerin' ya your mourning period without a woid from us. All he asks is that ya have it all in full in one years time." He grinned, as if it was as simple as that.

It was good that she had a knack for numbers as well as making chocolate. "Thank you, Mr. Ridley." She shook his hand even as she mentally calculated her wages, expenses, and so forth.

He tipped his hat to her and walked off, but not without casting another appreciative glance over her. Chills erupted up and down her spine as she slowly started in the opposite direction. Even if she cut back on luxuries, she didn't know if she'd be able to save up that amount of money.

A sick feeling settled in her stomach, one that she'd become accustomed to over the next year, and she took her son from Mrs. Mclean and held him close as they started back to their apartment building. Wasn't it just like her husband to do this to her? The moment she'd thought she was finally free of him he found one last way to cut her from beyond the grave.

For years she had felt hopeless and weak, all because of one man who had thought he could love her only to hate her in the end. In the end, she had always found herself lacking, only managing to be second best to a ghost of a woman who had long been cold, six feet under. Now, she was finally able to put that past behind her, to move on with her son and give him all the happiness in the world while she worked on finding her own little bit of happiness.

Shawn Gallagher had managed to spoil even that bit of hope. Bitterness rose like a poison in her and she wanted to scream out in frustration at the unfairness. How could he take everything from her, even now? After all he'd put her through, she hope he was paying for it in the pits of hell.

Because, when it came to love, all she'd ever gotten was a swift kick in the teeth. From now on, she was living on her own terms and not those of a dead man.

**A/N: Tell me what you think of Vivian and the beginning of Mush's story in a review!**

**Truly,**

**Joker is Poker with a J~**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize. Everything you DO recognize belong to their respective owners. **


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

_"Self-discipline implies some unpleasant things to me, including staying away from chocolate and keeping my hands out of women's pants." - Oleg Kiselev_

**December 18****th****, 1905 - Keenan's Bar, The Bronx**

"What do ya mean she disappeared?" Barkers thundered, his black eyes flashing in anger. He had been counting on that money and he wasn't happy to hear this news.

However, it did give him satisfaction to see Ridley shuffle back a step as he stuttered, "I-I went ta her apartment in Brooklyn and it was cleared out, up for rent. Had been for six weeks. No trace of her anywhere. I went ta her work in Manhattan and the owner said she quit months ago. The only person who works for him is a dark-haired, Italian woman."

Barkers glared fiercely at him, "Why weren't ya keepin' tabs on her _before_ she cut out?

Ridley's stricken expression appeased him, "I d-didn't think she'd run!"

He scowled, not entirely shocked by the stupidity of his underlings. Ignoring Ridley, he took time to ponder what he could do. There was Carlos he could call on, but he tried to only use him when it was of the utmost importance. Not only was he expensive, he was a bit of a wild card. Making a noise akin to a growl in the back of his throat, he met Ridley's gaze, "Talk to all the neighbors, the boss, and any othah people she knew. I want my debt collected, ya hear me?" He slammed a hand on the table, "Find. Her."

**March 3****rd****, 1906**

"C'mon, Mush. One night out with the guys, it'll be great!" Blink pleaded as they took the stairs up to Mush's apartment in Harlem.

Mush shook his head, "Nah, I don't think I'm really up foah it, Blink."

Blink sighed in frustration, "Mush, how many times do we get ta go ovah ta Race's place and see Jack? I mean, we get to see _the Cowboy_ being a fathah. Tell me ya not even a little interested in this?"

Rolling his eyes, Mush paused on the stairs to face his best friend, "Seriously, Kid. Are ya hearin' yaself? Jack's our friend and you think it's funny he now has a daughter?"

The tow headed man raised his hands in defense, "Awright, you're making me sound a little like an ass." It was silent for a beat as Mush arched an eyebrow at Blink, "Awright, a lot like an ass. But, c'mon I can't even be a little amused by this? It's _Jack Kelly_ with a _daughter_. Ya gotta admit it's kinda funny."

Sighing, Mush resumed the climb to his third floor apartment as Blink followed close behind. When they reached his floor, he was almost run over by a small child barreling down the hall as a middle-aged woman exclaimed exasperatedly, "Wes, what in tarnation's am I ta do with you?"

Wesley, the six-year-old boy who lived across the hall from Mush, shrieked and hid behind his legs. "Mush! Save me!"

Mush laughed and tousled the child's brown hair as Mrs. Mclean came towards them, "Hello, Mush. How was work?" She asked, smiling politely. She was a sweet woman with dark hair streaked with gray that was almost always pulled back severely. Since he'd moved to this building in December they, along with Mrs. Mclean's daughter, Wesley's mother, who worked most of the time and who he had scarcely seen once or twice (usually the back of her head as she went down the street in the direction of her work) had been living across from him.

The family was something he was thankful for because often times he would get caught up in conversation with the older woman or playing hide and seek with Wes when he wasn't working at the Benjamin Hotel. It was a vast improvement to the Irishman he'd lived across from in his old building, who had sung incessantly when he had too much whiskey (which was every night), or the screaming polish couple who lived next door to Race.

"Mrs. Mclean." He greeted before gesturing to his friend, "This is Blink, Blink this is my neighbor Mrs. Mclean and her grandson Wesley."

"Nice ta meetcha." Blink said, shaking her hand.

Mrs. Mclean rolled her eyes good naturedly as she responded, "Ah, yes. Mush has told me all about you."

"From ya tone, it can only be good things." The blonde man replied with a charming smile.

She laughed a full laugh, "Oh, you were right, Mush. He's very suave."

Wesley pulled on Mush's arm before he could tell her not to inflate Blink's ego anymore, "Mush! Mush! Can we color? Momma bought me a box of crayons!"

Mush glanced at Mrs. Mclean who smiled, "It's quite alright you don't have to. Wesley, leave the young man alone. He has plans with his friend."

Unable to bare the crestfallen look the child gave him, Mush found himself saying, "Nah, it's awright, Mrs. Mclean. I can color with him. If that's awright with you?" He ignored Blink's scoff as he met the woman's clear, blue gaze.

"Oh, Mush. You must be the sweetest man." She leaned forward to kiss his cheek and pat his shoulder, "Thank you. He's been making so much noise and poor Vivian is trying to sleep before her next shift."

The name brought Mush to immediate attention, but already Mrs. Mclean was entering her apartment. He glanced over to Blink, who raised an eyebrow at him, and then down at Wesley who gave him a large grin. Sighing, Mush pulled out his keys and started to open the door to his apartment.

Ushering the two in, he turned around as the older woman called his name. "Here are the crayons. Coloring wouldn't be as effective without them." Mush laughed and thanked her before going into the small apartment.

"…and that's why Mush should go out with da guys. Ya know, kid?" Blink was crouched down, his face the same level as Wesley's as he explained to the child his reasoning.

For the umpteenth time, Mush rolled his eyes, "Blink, go ta Race's and quit buggin' me. I'm hanging out with Wes here."

Wesley beamed up at him as his friend straightened with a grumpy look on his face, "Mush, ya gotta come. A night on the town with the guys, like the old days."

"You realize ya goin' ta Race's, right? He's with Clara, he's not gonna wanna hit up the bars. And Jack's got a daughtah. They're not gonna leave her alone ta go out drinkin' with you." What about this situation was Blink not getting, he wondered. Both their friends had lives now, responsibilities; they were growing up and moving on. If Blink wanted to continue chasing skirts, he could do it alone from now on. Mush was tired of it all, had always been long over jumping from woman to woman.

Blink raised an eyebrow, "If there were two single guys, we could get them out of the house. Mush, _listen_, they want to go out. They just need a little push."

Long before now, Mush probably would have given in to him, except he had already agreed to color with Wesley. At the thought of the child, he swung his head around as he realized the child wasn't next to them anymore. Alarm leapt through him for a split second before his eyes landed on the child sitting at the table in the corner of his apartment.

Short legs swinging, eyebrow puckered in concentration, he worked diligently on his coloring. Mush smiled slightly as he replied, "I'm not goin' tahnight, Blink."

It finally got through to his friend who sighed dramatically, "Fine. Have fun with the kid. But, I don't see how ya gonna have any of ya own when ya hangin' out with someone elses'. See ya Monday." Without another word, Blink left, unaware that he had unwittingly hurt his friends' feelings. Mush saw him out, watching as the blonde man disappeared down the stairs.

It was common for Blink, Race, and David to rib on Mush's history with women. All of it was in good-nature but sometimes it stung him just a bit. They all knew he was a hopeless romantic, that none of his stories were even as remotely entertaining as Blink's escapades, and yet they thought it hilarious that he wanted to settle with one woman. Even now with Race courting Clara they still kept up with the jokes about Mush's love life-or the lack thereof. As if it didn't bother him that, unlike Blink's whirlwind one-night stands, it was he who was left alone rather than the women.

Even given his history, sometimes it bugged him how much Blink played women. One day, he was sure Blink would fall in love and he hoped the girl wouldn't make it easy for him. Mush silently looked forward to that as he left his door open in case Mrs. Mclean wanted to check on Wesley. He hung his jacked on the hook by the door and took a seat at the table with the small kid. "Whatya drawin'?" He asked, trying to get his mind off his somber thoughts.

Wesley didn't look up, "Momma making chocolates."

"Is that what she does?" Mush didn't honestly know a whole lot about the elusive Miss Mclean. Only that she worked double shifts everyday but Sundays, the only day when all three of them were absent from the apartment.

Wesley nodded, "At Mr. Matthew's candy shop. Sometimes, she'll bring me home a piece, but Mrs. Mclean-" Wesley stopped a moment, as if he'd said something wrong, "I mean, Nonna, says chocolates bad for my teef." Here he stopped, and gave Mush a big smile and pointed to his teeth.

Smiling, Mush put away the small slip-up of Wes's in the back of his mind as he tilted his head to see the picture. It was a purple stick person, dark-haired, standing over a blue oven that had small brown blobs in it. "Really nice pictuah. Looks just like her." He told Wesley as he reached to grab his own sheet of paper and a crayon.

"WESLEY!" An almost hysterical voice said fifteen minutes later.

Mush and Wesley both looked up from their coloring to meet each other's gaze. "I think ya mothah's up." He told the six-year-old.

"Vivian, it's alright." Mrs. Mclean's soothing voice was heard right before hurried footsteps crossed the hall and Vivian Mclean entered Mush's apartment.

The moment he met her light, blue eyes as they scanned his kitchen for her son, he knew without a doubt that his entire world had just completely changed.

**A/N: I'm aware it took me much too long to get back to this. I got tired of writing when I had to write two papers every week for three of my classes. It was a crazy semester. Luckily, I just have finals standing between me and my summer. So, as a treat to myself and to you all for waiting so patiently, I sat down and wrote this chapter! **

**Please review! I love hearing what you all think!**

**Truly,  
><strong>

**Joker is Poker with a J~  
><strong>

****Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize. Everything you DO recognize belong to their respective owners. ****


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

_Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces. - _Judith Viorst__

She pulled up short as she met the warm, brown eyes of the man sitting at the table with her son. Her breath caught just a little as they met. They were a rich, chocolate shade that immediately brought to mind winter nights when you were curled up inside with hot cocoa, surrounded by the people you loved most.

But, it wasn't just those eyes that stopped her. It was the instant, unworldly connection between them that seemed to sizzle through the air around them. She felt as if something monumental was going on outside this tiny apartment, loud and noisy, but in this space it was quiet, electric and-

_What are you, nuts? _A sharp voice in her mind severed the connection and brought back all the panic that had thrummed through her being after she had woken from a terrible nightmare to realize that it wasn't a nightmare at all-her son was missing. Of course, that was silly. Mrs. Mclean had soothed her, assured her Wesley was alright. He was just across the hall with Mush.

At the unfamiliar name, she had tensed back up. Scared for the safety of her child and furious with the older woman for letting Wesley leave the apartment with a stranger. Not even a stranger.

A man.

"Hello." She said now, not unpleasantly, her eyes still on him, ignoring the strange charge in the space between them and the way he was looking at her, as if he were a man in the desert who'd just happened on an oasis, "I'm sorry, I don't believe we've met."

The stranger stood suddenly, and she felt alarm leap through her chest as she took a step back. He was tall and _solid_. The light, blue button-up shirt was pulled taut against his broad shoulders and it narrowed down his torso to tuck flawlessly into his trousers. One of his suspenders had fallen off of his shoulder and hung in a loop against his leg, giving him a relaxed look.

She knew better than to believe appearances. Sure, he could be smiling right now but at any second he could change that smile into anger; a lunge forward to pull her towards him by her hair or simply back hand her for taking a certain tone with him.

Vivian was always prepared for any of the three.

What she wasn't prepared for was his hand, held out in an offering as he gazed at her with those wide, hopeful brown eyes. The sincerity in his open expression took her completely off-guard. "Ya Vivian, right?" He said, his voice deep, his New York drawl lighter than the accents she was used to hearing.

Resisting the urge to grab up her son and leave, she forced herself to act normal, reminding herself that this man couldn't possibly be one of the ones after the debt she owed. Reluctantly, she stepped forward and shook his hand, so large and calloused against her own, softer one, "Yes." She drew the answer out hesitantly, still a little unsure, "And you are…?"

"Alex Meyers, but everyone just calls me Mush." He smiled charmingly, an easy smile that would have set a rock at ease as he slipped his hands into his pockets. His demeanor was shy, boyish almost.

She steeled her spine against relaxing in response to his body language. How many times had she been fooled by Shawn's tranquil persona before they had married? Vivian knew all too well that you never judged a man by his actions when others were around; it was when the world wasn't looking that you found out the truth to his character. She stood there, uncertainly, before she turned to see Wesley watching them, "Now that I'm up, you don't have to humor Wes."

Mush Meyers gave a crooked smile that had her heart skip a beat as he glanced at her son, "Nah, it's quite awright, Miss. Wes and me were just breaking in his new crayons, right buddy?"

Wesley smiled so brightly, she felt as if summer was already in full swing, "Yes, momma. Look what I drawed for you." He held up his paper, forcing her to come farther into the apartment and, consequently, closer to Mush to see.

It was a child's work, but it was _her_ son's and that made it all the sweeter, "Is that me?" She asked, trying to figure out his drawing so she wouldn't disappoint him.

He beamed, "Yes, you're making chocolates! That's me," He pointed to a smaller person between two other people, "that's…Nona, and Mush." Whispering rather loudly, he told her, "That's chocolate on Mush's face."

Mush's laugh to her left startled her and she glanced wearily at him. _As if he weren't handsome enough_, she thought, almost ruefully and then scowled in response to that thought. No, she didn't think he was attractive; she refused to. She had a no-men rule and she was sticking to it. "Wonderful job, sweetie." She told Wesley as she turned back to her six-year-old and stopped when the second drawing caught her attention.

Straightening, she reached out for the picture as Mush moved to intercept her, "Uh, that's just my-"

"You drew this?" She cut him off, reaching the paper a millisecond before he could snatch it up.

Vivian raised her eyes over the picture to meet his eyes again as he reached a hand up to scratch his back, looking strangely adorable in his embarrassment, "Yeah, but, uh, it's not my best..." He trailed off.

Her eyes fell down to the picture, sheer amazement at the attention to detail. It was sketched lightly with a black crayon, as if he were use to charcoal, and it depicted her son as he'd been before she'd interrupted their coloring. He sat at the table, right in front of the window so that a shaft of the setting sunlight fell on him, a brow furrowed in concentration as the tip of his tongue peeked out of the right corner of his mouth as he worked on his picture. His hair was in slight disarray, as it usually was, his clothes worn and rumpled.

A line was drawn just behind him, as if Mush hadn't been finished, "What's that line?" She asked, moving to show him, pointing to it.

The skin around his eyes tightened, as if he had been hoping she wouldn't have noticed, "Well, I, uh, was gonna put you behind him…leaning ovah the chair ta see his work…"

Furrowing her own brows, she looked at him questioningly, "But, we've never met."

He shrugged, "I was going ta leave your face blank uh-until I saw ya…" Was his answer as he shifted uncomfortably under her scrutiny.

Slowly, grudgingly, she handed it to him. "It's…it's good." She forced the praise out, and then added, without thinking it through, "Maybe when you're finished I could have it?" She didn't meet his eyes, but turned to meet her son's.

Although they weren't the exact shade of green that her husband's had been, sometimes it pained her to stare into his. Flashes of angry, dark green eyes would cross her mind and she would cringe as she remembered the pain that had been inflicted on numerous occasions.

"Of course." Distantly, she heard Mush's reply as old memories swamped her.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, collected her courage, the courage that had somehow sustained her this past year and a half, and nodded, "Alright. Come on, Wes. Nona has dinner waiting for us." Wesley hopped off his chair, collected his crayons, and took her hand. She almost left without another word to this person she'd just met, but then she remembered her manners, "Right, uh, thank you for, you know, keeping him busy."

"Anytime." He answered, easily. "And hey, if he gets lonely hanging around adults, my friend's got a daughter around Wes' age. Maybe I could bring her around sometime."

Vivian was going to ask him why he insisted on hanging around with children when she met his eyes again and the thought flew from her mind. The sincerity in those chocolate depths made her knees just ever so slightly weak.

Chocolate had always been her biggest weakness…

That, and attractive men.

And the last attractive guy she'd fallen for had royally screwed her over.

"Thanks, I'm sure Wes will be fine, though." She turned and marched out without waiting for his answer. She drew strength from Wesley's small hand clasped in her own, wondering why she needed to remind herself of what had happened the last time she'd given into that second temptation.

She'd stick with the chocolate from now on, thank you very much.

**A/N: And so, they meet! Review, please?**

**Truly,  
><strong>

**Joker is Poker with a J~  
><strong>

****Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize. Everything you DO recognize belong to their respective owners. ****


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

_"Chocolate: Here today ... Gone today!" – Anonymous_

"Hey, Mush! Race just told me da most ridiculous thing." Blink greeted Mush on Monday morning, not even taking the time to say hello or good morning.

Mush raised an eyebrow as he turned his eyes on the Italian man who'd walked into the Benjamin alongside his best friend. A week ago, Mush had agreed to switch shifts with Race and was, consequently, bleary eyed from being up the entire night manning the front desk. He was looking forward to going home and climbing into his bed, and hopefully, if he didn't see her coming or going, dreaming about Vivian-whom he hadn't seen since their first meeting Friday.

Race was shaking his head in frustration, something they all seemed to do when they hung out with Blink, "He's overreacting." He told Mush, ignoring Blink who harrumphed.

"I'm overreacting? Tell him what you plan on doin'." The blonde man challenged.

The door behind Mush opened before Race's mouth and the three friends glanced behind them, to see David emerge, tying his tie and looking a little worse for wear. "I didn't see ya come in, Dave." Mush remarked, both of them knowing full well that he hadn't even left.

David rubbed his eyes, ignored Mush, and met Race's eyes, "What did you do, Race? Blink's harping over it woke me up. I hope it's interesting."

Blink scowled while Race grinned at David, "Well, ah…" He reached up and itched his ear as he gave them a sheepish look, "I asked Clara's fathah foah her hand."

"In marriage?" Mush asked, a little shocked even as a broad smile pulled up the corners of his mouth.

Racetrack rolled his eyes as he walked around the counter, "No, her hand ta Sheepshead. Of course, in marriage." He lightly shoved Mush, but he had his own grin on.

"Oh, man, Race that's great! Congratulations. When are ya gonna ask her? Did ya get her a ring?"

"Mush, don't encourage him." Blink muttered.

With a flourish, Race pulled out a small, square box and opened it to show them a modest, oval emerald stone with three, tiny diamonds in a triangle set on either side, "It reminded me of her eyes," He told him as David and Blink both leaned in to have a look, "and I'm gonna do it Saturday night in the foyah of her parents' house. It's where we met and had oah first kiss."

"I didn't know you were so romantic, Race." David said leaning against the counter as Blink scoffed.

"Whatever. I'm going to the kitchens." He told the three before he left in a huff.

Mush watched his best friend's retreating back, "Ya think he's jealous?" He asked, as the other two shrugged. He looked thoughtfully in the direction of the small restaurant that had been opened inside the Benjamin a year after the hotel. Many didn't know just how much Blink loved working back there, managing the menu and the staff, but Mush knew and he also was painfully aware that it was where Blink liked to go when something bothered him, even when he wasn't scheduled to be there.

Sighing, he patted the smooth wood of the front desk, "Well, congrats again, Race. I'm shoah, with a ring like that, she'll find it hard ta say no. I'm gonna head out, now. I'll see you boys tomarrah."

He left with a chorus of goodbyes trailing behind him and walked home to his apartment in a sort of tired daze. A small ache had developed at some point in his chest as he realized that Race had found his match. It was hard not to notice how well they complimented each other; Clara's hard exterior, marshmallow inside, as well as her stubbornness alongside Race's easygoing demeanor that hid his willingness to do anything to protect those he loved most. It made Mush wonder what kind of woman would be his fit. Someone who obviously wasn't like the women he'd dated before.

Looking at the four who had made the most impact on him, he tried to figure out what it was they had in common. The first had been Charlotte, who had been the first girl he'd ever really courted back when he was a newsie. They'd met right before the strike and he'd thought it was the real thing. For quite a few months they had spent all their free time together, she had been beautiful and spirited, but she had also been harsh; putting him down because he was a newsie and hadn't strived for a better job. Charlotte could be warm one minute and then mean and spiteful the next. Their entire relationship he had walked on egg shells and no matter how much he tried to make her happy, it was never enough.

Now that he thought about it, Lydia, Grace, and Mary had been similar in that respect. Over the last seven years, those four had been the long-lasting ones and all had treated him like crap. He paused right in front of his door as realization hit him. Was he just attracted to cruel females? Or was there something wrong with him that he couldn't seem to make any woman happy enough?

"You alright?" A voice from behind him startled him from his morose thoughts and he turned to meet those brilliant blue eyes that he'd been dreaming about since Friday. His neighbor was just emerging from her own apartment and she looked surprise that she asked him a question as she softly shut the door behind her.

He noticed again the weary look in those wonderful eyes of hers. When they had first met, he had thought she was just nervous about meeting a strange guy, but it looked as if she was just habitually on guard. It made him even more curious about her.

He tried to look non-threatening because she seemed so uneasy, and gave her a small, crooked grin, "Yeah, just realizin' some stuff."

She glanced up and down the hallway, "Outside of your door?"

Sheepishly, he shrugged, "Why not?"

Her eyebrows rose as she gave him an odd look, as if wondering how he escaped from the mental institution.

Chuckling, he apologized, "Sorry, I just got off the night shift. Lack of sleep and all…" He trailed off, feeling awkward.

But she nodded knowingly, "I understand completely. It's just best to get some sleep." She offered him her first ever smile, "Well, I gotta get to work…I'll see you around."

Mush answered her smile with his own as she started away, "Yeah, you too. See ya…" Once more he found himself trailing off because she was already disappearing down the stairs. Sighing wistfully, he leaned back against his door, realizing that he once again was attracted to a woman that couldn't give a damn about him.

Shoulders sagging, he turned and unlocked his door. He trudged to his room and crawled into his bed without even taking off his boots. For a moment, he just stared at the wall, feeling lower than he had in a long time. Finally, exhaustion overcame him and he slipped into a dreamless sleep.

He didn't see Vivian for another week, which was probably a good thing. His realizations had put him in an abysmal mood so that not even Race and Clara's engagement dinner Sunday evening could cheer him up. If anything, it made him feel queasy when they smiled at each other as if the world was perfect-and he guessed, for them at least, it was.

The following Tuesday, he left work without waiting for Blink and went home to lie on his bed and mope. For a while he laid there and watched the particles of dust dance through the golden beam of the late afternoon sunshine that streamed in. A pounding knock startled him from his daydreams.

"Mush, open up!" Blink's voice echoed through the apartment and he didn't sound happy. Scowling, Mush forced himself to get up and go answer the door.

Blink was just raising his hand to knock again when he opened the door, and he met his friends' gaze, "What?" He asked, irritated.

He didn't answer, just pushed his way inside. Mush's gaze slipped to the door across the hall and he was surprised to see Vivian coming out, she raised an eyebrow at Blink's back before she nodded to Mush, "Hello."

Immediately, Mush's spirits rose, "Hi." He replied, giving her a smile, "On ya way ta work?"

She nodded, not returning his smile, "Unfortunately."

"Have a good day." He told her, trying to cheer her up.

That seemed to work, because she flushed, and she tried to hide a small smile, "Thank you. You as well."

A clearing behind him brought back his sour mood and he glanced back at Blink, "Yeah?"

Blink raised an eyebrow, "Ya gonna intraduce me?"

Mush turned to meet Vivian's gaze and saw the same weariness that was there when he met her. "Vivian, this is my friend Blink. Blink, my neighbor Vivian."

She inclined her head, but didn't move to shake his hand. Blink smiled at her, but not his usual charming one. "How do ya do." He said to her, politely, as he glanced between her and Mush.

"Fine. I have to get to work." Her abrupt departure had Mush's mood plummeting once more.

Sighing, he closed the door and turned back to the blond man, "Whatya want, Blink?"

Blink made himself at home on Mush's sofa before answering, "Well, I was gonna ask what ya problem has been lately but I think I know the answah now."

"Oh, yeah?" Mush countered, glowering at the man who seemed oblivious to his foul mood.

Before Blink could reply, there was another knock at the door. Mush turned to it, irritated, and pulled it open, "Yes?" He asked, impatiently.

"My name's Tom Fuentes, is this the residence of Mrs. Nancy Mclean-"

"Across the hall." Mush snapped before shutting the door in the man's face. He once again turned back to Blink, "Get ta ya point, Blink." He added to his friend as he walked into the kitchen and looked into his ice box, already knowing it was empty.

Blink shrugged, "I'm just surprised ya didn't tell me there was a woman. You usually do."

"Well, this one's different." Mush snapped without thinking, as he shut the ice box and came back into the main room.

Both of them paused as what Mush said caught both of them by surprise. "No matter how many women you've met, none of them have been different." Blink murmured.

All of the bad feelings Mush had been feeling washed back over him, "I know. She's not either; I don't know why I said it." He moved Blinks' feet and sat down beside him, "Why do I always find the unpleasant ones?"

Blink chuckled, "Probably foah the same reason I find the too nice ones. 'Cause they're the opposite of us."

Mush leaned his head back and closed his eyes, "Ya not cruel, Blink." He sighed and added, "I thought Race and Clara were opposites when we first met her, but now I'm not so shoah. They are in some aspects, but at the core of their being they're the same."

It was silent between the two friends for quite some time before Blink broke in, "Ya know what would really pick up our spirits?"

Mush opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow at him, "What?"

"A good ol' guys night."

He suppressed rolling his eyes, "Where have I heard that befoah?" He muttered, but in the end, it sounded like a brilliant idea.

**A/N: Review!**

**Truly,  
><strong>

**Joker is Poker with a J~  
><strong>

****Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize. Everything you DO recognize belong to their respective owners. ****


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

_"Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food." - Michael Levine_

Her building was just up ahead, unbearably close and yet still out of reach. Vivian hated walking at night, especially this late. If this shift wasn't a necessity, she'd have foregone it a long time ago but, unfortunately, if she wanted to ever get out from under her dead husbands debt it was something she had to do.

She hurried her steps when she caught movement across the street in her peripheral vision. Gritting her teeth, she kept herself from full out running, hating herself for being so skittish but unable to do anything about it. Being weary of everyone had kept her hidden from Ridley and Barkers this long and if that was the price, she could accept it.

Finally, she made it inside and sighed in relief as she tiredly ascended the stairs to her apartment. She trudged up the first flight of stairs, yawning and glancing back behind her every so often.

Two flights, she slipped her hand into her pocket to pull out a small piece of dark chocolate that she had brought home from work. It's smooth, semi-bitter flavor was by far her favorite, even though her Swiss ancestry had developed the milk chocolate that was the most popular in Matthew's shop. She savored the taste of the small piece, identifying the sugar, cocoa butter, and vanilla that were commonly added to chocolate to make it so delicious.

As she walked slowly up the last flight, she heard a noise. Tensing, Vivian slowed her steps, her eyes squinting in the dark hallway. While she loved making chocolate, and needed all the shifts she could get, this evening shift was the hardest for her. She'd never admit to being afraid of the dark, but walking home alone in the night always brought back the memories of when Shawn had come home late from work, usually drunk, to assault her. He had never done it during the day or with an oil lamp burning, always in the dark so that he could pretend that he wasn't beating his wife.

Someone swore and she felt a chill climb down her spine as she entered the hallway. All she could discern was a dark figure across from her apartment door and it looked like they were crawling around on the floor.

"…gonna kill him foah leavin' me like this…" The person was muttering and she tried to sneak passed them to get to her door when she recognized Mush's slurred voice.

She froze, wondering if he needed help but at the same time telling herself it was none of her business. Plus, she knew exactly what men got like when they drank.

His despairing groan had her going against her better judgment as she turned back around and softly asked, "Mush?"

He had obviously been unaware to a second person in the hallway because he jumped at the sound of her voice and incidentally tumbled over drunkenly, "Oaf." Was his reply before he sat up and squinted through the dark, "Vivian?"

"Do you need help?" She asked him, apprehensively, ignoring the thrill at the sound of her name on his lips.

Through the darkness, she could just make out his head turning to the left and then the right, "I dropped my keys." He muttered, and she was shocked at the vulnerability in that one, simple sentence.

She nibbled on her lip, debating what she should do before she help up a finger, "Wait right here. I'm going to get a lamp."

Not waiting for his reply, she unlocked her own door and took off her jacket, being careful not to wake up Nancy or Wesley, and moved to find the oil lamp that usually sat in the corner of the kitchen. She picked it up, and felt around for the matches that usually were beside it and smiled in satisfaction as she lit the lamp.

When the light hit Mush, she found him sitting in the hallway with his back against the wall beside his door. His knees were pulled up to his stomach and his head rested on them. He looked like a child who'd been told to sit in the corner instead of the twenty-something man he was.

His head came up and he scrunched up his face as his eyes adjusted to the weak flame, "Ya didn't haveta help me." He didn't slur but his words came out slow as he took the time to think about the next one.

She held out the lamp so the light would fall farther and instantly spotted the keys about three feet down the hall. Sighing, she walked over and picked them up, feeling the heaviness of the metal in her palm as she turned back and jingled them at him. A silly grin spread across his face as he began to get up, using the wall for support, "Woah." He murmured when he was standing, his eyes on the floor, "The floor'ssso far down."

Suppressing a smile, she moved towards his door and unlocked it. They both stood there as the door opened and looked inside before she realized he wasn't moving. She gestured inside but he shook his head, "Ladiesfirst." Slurring the two words together so that for a second she had thought he said, 'Layeee furs.'

He gestured and she started to shake her head no before she figured he might need help to his room. Sighing, wondering how she got herself in this situation, she stepped inside and glanced back as he started to follow.

"You come home drunk, often?" She asked, not expecting an answer as she set the lamp down on his kitchen table.

"No. Tonightsspecial."

Raising an eyebrow, she sat down at the small table and watched as he went over to the couch, "Why?" She asked, curious about this man in spite of herself.

He shrugged as he sat down, "I needed it aftah I realized…" Pausing, he tilted his head back and met her gaze, "…realized I have bad taste."

"Bad taste?" Why was she still here? She wondered silently as she asked that out loud. Surely, he was fine here on the couch. She could leave and go to bed and not give this man a second thought.

Who was she kidding? Vivian had been giving him second, third, and fourth thoughts since she'd met him. She didn't know a thing about him, except that he could draw beautifully, so why was she so attracted to this stranger? No doubt, he was the same type of man that Shawn was. As if being good-looking gave you the right to stray, gamble, and beat on women.

His eyes sparkled a rich brown in the dim light, "In women." He said it so simply, that she stared at him in surprised speechlessness.

"I-in women." She didn't ask this time, only echoed his statement.

Mush nodded his head, still staring at her with this strange intensity that seemed to paralyze her and strip her of all defenses. She found herself standing, and moving towards the couch, "What do you mean?" Why wasn't she leaving? Willing herself to say good night and leave, she took a step towards the door.

What he said next had her pausing as those brown eyes watched every step she took with a hungry longing that shocked her. "Ya think I don't know, but I do." He closed his eyes briefly as he added, "Ya not the most comfortable around me."

She would admit that this man had a way of surprising her. "I don't know what you mean." Was her defensive reply.

It was silent between them for a stretch of time before he stood and turned to face her, no longer looking drunk, but powerful. It should have scared her, the way he stood and took up all the space in the apartment. Only, she didn't feel in the least bit threatened. For whatever reason, perhaps intuition, she knew he wasn't going to harm her. _You thought Shawn wouldn't harm you when you first married him_, that annoying voice whispered and she hated the suspicion that had grown from her past experiences.

"Mush?" Her breathless question hung between them, and the darkness that surrounded the ring of light from the lamp pulsed with energy.

Perhaps he wasn't the angry drunk type, but the one willing to tell you everything and remember nothing in the morning. She was _so_ curious about him and she hadn't been curious about anyone for a long time.

"Yes?" He asked, rather huskily as he took a slow, measured step towards her.

Looking away from him, she regarded him from the corner of her eye, "You work at a hotel?" She'd spent the week carefully constructing conversations that would lead Mrs. Mclean to talk about Mush and what she knew of this mysterious man who lived across the hall. All that she'd experienced with her marriage with Shawn, everything that had gone to building up the walls around her defenses, seemed not to apply to this man in front of her and even though they'd only met on several occasions she was very much aware of his effect on her.

"The Benjamin Hotel." Mush stopped advancing towards her and leaned against the back of the sofa. He watched her through half-lidded eyes as he added, "I'm the front desk manager."

"So, you're good with people." It came out as a condemnation.

He tilted his head, "Yeah, I don't see why that's a bad thing."

She suspected that he was sobering up a bit from the lack of slurred words, but she didn't care if he knew she was pumping him for information. "It's just that, sometimes, when someone is good with people it's just a façade that they put up to hide the ugliness inside." Vivian didn't know why she let that bit of her own philosophy slip out. Anxious for his reply to her comment, she nervously brushed back a hair from her face and then clasped her hands together in front of her.

Coffee-colored eyes following every little movement, he responded with, "I see. Well, sometimes, people just like my easy-going attitude."

Vivian knew that to be true. More often than not, he was relaxed, and those big, innocent brown eyes combined with his curly, soft, brown mop of hair on the top of his head…he looked more boyish than fierce. "You have any family?" Was her next question, even as she mentally kicked herself for not leaving.

"Not a…" he paused, thinking about the word he wanted before settling with, "traditional family." Seeing her confusion, he elaborated, "I was a newsie when I was youngah, along with Davey, the ownah of the hotel I work at now. The boys were my family, and still are, especially the ones who work with me, Blink and Race."

"Those are their real names?" Vivian inquired, slowly realizing that she was letting her guard down.

Mush chuckled, "Nah, Blink's real name is Thomas and Race is Anthony. Ya just get so use ta their nicknames when ya boys that ya don't even use their real ones."

An awkward moment passed as they just stood there staring at one another, before she finally moved to leave, "Well, good night."

His leg jerked as if he wanted to stop her from leaving but then he froze and watched her go, "Good night, Vivian." The whispered farewell sent a shiver up her spine as she reached for the door knob.

Hesitating, she remembered the earlier conversation and the one question he had avoided, "Mush?"

"Yeah?" Was his instant reply, as if he'd been waiting for her.

Vivian took a breath as she worded her question, "What did you…mean? When you said you had bad taste in women?" She turned to find him not five feet from her, looking at her steadily.

A rueful grin twisted up the corner of his mouth, "I seem ta only like ones who treat me like crap."

Something blossomed in her chest at his words and she fought back the urge to hug him. Whatever this was, it was too much for her right now. She nodded in answer because she was unable to find the words necessary to soothe him and turned the door knob reluctantly.

Looking back, she wasn't too surprised to see him watching her. That strange, hungry-hopeful look on his face as if he'd seen what he'd wanted all his life and yet it was out of reach. It made her tremble as her own body seemed to sizzle in response to his. Shawn had always avoided looking at her; the constant reminder of what he couldn't have. It wasn't until this moment that she realized she craved a man who wanted _her_ and only her.

It was disconcerting to realize that, of all the men in her life, Mush was the only one _she_ wanted.

VvVvVvVvVvVv VvVvVvVvVvVv

A cigarette burned bright as the man inhaled; the only spot of light in the dark alley across from the apartment building in which Vivian had walked in. The owner of the cigarette cast a look up and down the street as he leaned casually against the wall, one leg bent as he rested his boot against the same wall.

He heard the footsteps but he didn't move. Out of the corner of his eye, the dirty mug of Robert Ridley came into view. "Ya late." He stated, taking another pull of his rolled cigarette and reveling in the taste of the tobacco.

"Yeah, yeah." Ridley replied, pulling off his hat and running a hand through his hair, "Well, Fuentes? Ya finally find mah girl?" He asked, roughly even as his eyes danced with glee at catching the woman who had managed to evade the gang for close to five months.

Carlos rolled his eyes, "Wouldn'ta told ya ta meet me here foah a little get tagethah." They both knew there was no love lost between them and they liked it that way. "Ya got my money?"

Ridley grumbled, but pulled it out, "Of course, Fuentes. But first, the girl?"

"She's hardly a girl. But she's in that apartment building," He pointed to the one across the street, "third floor, second door on the left. 305."

"Right. Good. Find ouah gal, now we just got ta smoke her out." Ridley chuckled to himself as Carlos held out his hand for his money. This had been an easy job, but he hated working with this man. He also didn't feel right about the whole situation, but he wasn't paid to tell people what he thought so he kept his silence. Ridley grunted as he tossed the wad of bills to the Spaniard who caught it effortlessly before hefting it lightly in his palm, "Lovely." He commented, mostly to himself as he took his leave of Ridley.

Instead of heading home, he strolled in the opposite direction. He was an observer for the most part, but every now and then you had to make a move. It hadn't been lost on him that the man across the hall from Ridley's prey had been wearing a Benjamin Hotel uniform, he had even caught the blonde man just inside wearing similar clothes.

Carlos didn't like the 'smoke her out' comment any more than he liked the gang chasing a widow and her young kid. Perhaps, he thought with a smug smile, it was best to give the underdogs a little assistance. Whistling a light tune, he smiled as he imagined the look on Race's face as he once again helped him out.

**A/N: Oh, man. This took a little longer than I had planned, but I wanted to get the dialogue between Mush and Vivian perfect. And dontcha just love Carlos? I really do. I'm even tempted to write him his own one-shot story. Perhaps, after this series...Anywho, please review and tell me what you liked about the chapter? Or even what you disliked! **

**Truly,  
><strong>

**Joker is Poker with a J~  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: Everything you recognize belongs to their respective owners, I am just borrowing them for my own amusement.  
><strong>


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

"_There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate!"  
><em>_Linda Grayson, "The Pickwick Papers"_

"Can I see?"

"Not yet."

"Now?"

"I'll tell ya when."

"Mush?"

"Mhm?"

"Can I see now?"

Jack sighed in frustration, finally lifting his head out of the newspaper to look at his daughter and Mush, "Hazel, he said he'd tell ya when ya could see it." Mush smiled as she pouted, watching in astonishment as Jack, The Cowboy and the strike leader, crumbled under the gaze of a five year old. They locked gazes above her head and Jack shrugged, "Can't ya just show her now, Mush?"

Laughing, Mush finished off the picture he'd been drawing for the little girl and presented it to her with a small flourish, "There ya go, Hazel." He watched as the little girl's face lit up with excitement. Her brown eyes, so identical to Jack's it was almost unnerving, sparkled as she squealed with delight at the picture he'd drawn for her. It was one of Jack and her riding a horse, both wearing cowboy hats.

"Look, daddy!" She exclaimed, running around the table to show him the picture, "There's you and that's me." Hazel pointed out, as if he couldn't tell who was who.

Jack inspected the drawing and lifted his gaze to Mush, "This is really good, Mush. Why don't you draw more? Maybe sell some of ya stuff?"

Mush leaned back in his chair, scratched his head and shrugged, "I drew a couplah big things for Davey when he first opened the Hotel. One of 'em is in a fourth floor room, anothah in the restaurant." He paused to look at Hazel as she sat at the table, quietly drawing her own picture as they talked and smiled a little as he thought of Wesley and Vivian, "I don't know, Jack. I just like doin' it when I feel like it. If I sold 'em, it would take all the fun out of it."

The creak of a door opening had all three of them turning to watch Race emerge from his room looking rumpled from sleep.

"Morning, sleepy head." Hazel told him, giving him an impish smile as he ruffled her dark blonde hair.

"Evenin', munchkin." Race replied, reaching down to tickle her side. She squealed with laughter and squirmed away. Moving around the table, he clapped Mush on the back, "Whatya doin' here, Mush? Good day at da Hotel?"

Mush nodded, "Even though I had a hang ovah, it wasn't too bad. Just thought I'd stop ovah and visit these two here. Anyway, Hazel missed me." He didn't mention the fact that he was avoiding his apartment, not even bringing up Vivian and their weird conversation the previous night-half of which he could barely remember.

Hazel gave him a toothy smile and continued to color as Race dug through the icebox for food, "Hangovah, aye? You and Blink have a guy's night?"

"Yeah, you know how he gets." Mush replied, shaking his head at the thought of his best friend, who'd came into the hotel that morning looking a lot more chipper than Mush had felt.

Racetrack finally settled on making a peanut butter sandwich as he replied, "Anothah one night stand?"

They all knew Blink so well, "Yep." Mush responded, wondering if he should confide in these two about Vivian.

Rolling his eyes, Race leaned against the counter and bit into the sandwich, "No point in soundin' disapprovin', Mush. Blink isn't the romantic you are."

"You aren't eithah, Race. But ya managed ta find Clara." Was his retort.

Chuckling, Race chewed his food carefully before replying, "God knows why she's stuck around."

Mush looked between the two, choosing his words carefully, "Hey, so, ah, I met this woman…"

Jack and Racetrack groaned at the same time, making Hazel bring her attention away from her coloring to watch the exchange. Curiously, she looked between them before groaning herself. Mush pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes at his two friends, "Ya didn't even let me start_ and _ ya teachin' Hazel bad habits."

"Nah, she's smart. She won't have bad habits." Jack said, fondly, before adding, "And we don't gotta hear no more. We know where this is goin'." Jack said, eyeing Race's sandwich, "Hazel, ya hungry?"

She nodded, beaming up at her father with adoring eyes, "Can we go ta Tibby's, Daddy?"

"Sure, kiddo. How about stoppin' ta visit Uncle Crutchy along the way, too?"

Hazel grinned and nodded, hopping off of her chair and running to the bedroom. Jack shook his head and smiled, "Good thing I did a decent day at the Factory. I need ta get her some new shoes."

It was surprising, really, to see Jack as a father. He was doing exceptionally well, too, and Mush was glad to see that Jack had grown up. They all had, but the biggest difference was in Jack as he watched him help Hazel put on her shoes. It was also good to see that the two had bonded in the two and a half months since Jack had taken her from the orphanage she'd ended up in. After Lily had passed from pneumonia, her mother had taken care of Hazel for a year before she grew sick herself. In a last ditch effort to save the little girl's future, Mrs. O'Neill had written to Jack and told him of the daughter he never knew he had. Unfortunately, the old woman had passed before Jack had gotten to New York and Hazel had ended up in an orphanage.

As fate would have it, Clara had read the letter before they had even left Chicago. When they had gotten back to New York and had found out the woman had passed, Clara pulled some strings to find Hazel and have her brought to St. Joseph's Orphanage, the one she sponsored, and there Jack had collected his daughter. They'd moved into Race's apartment and since then Jack had turned his life around. He'd gotten a job in a factory that manufactured assorted tools and he and Race were taking opposing shifts so that someone would always be home with Hazel.

"You guys wanna come?" Jack asked as he stood up and Hazel danced around in excitement.

"Nah, gonna go see Clara before work." Race told him as he polished off his dinner.

Mush debated the question, but in the end he shook his head, "No, thanks, Jack. Imma just head back ta my apartment." He dreaded facing Vivian, wondering what she thought of him after his foolish, drunken night.

Jack and Hazel waved to them as they left and Mush turned to Race, "She's different, I'm tellin' ya, Race."

The Italian quirked an eyebrow, as he pulled a cigar out of the can on the counter, "What makes her different, Mush?" He finally asked after he lit the cigar and took a pull from it. Mush rubbed the back of his neck, thankful that Race wasn't giving him a hard time about it but also unable to quite put his finger on what about Vivian was different. Finally, he settled on the first answer that came to mind, "She was…prickly when we first met."

"Yeah? Weren't the girls ya dated befoah her kinda…'prickly'?" He countered, saying that last word as if he had another word entirely in mind.

Ignoring the dig at his past girls, he took a moment to contemplate Vivian as he saw her last night. She'd appeared in the hallway unexpectedly; once the lantern was lit, he'd been able to see the worn and tired look on her face, with just a smudge of chocolate on her cheek. Something about her last night...he concentrated hard on her image in his head, the vulnerability he'd seen as she helped him even though he knew she was always very cautious around him. As if at any moment he was going to attack her for no apparent reason. "Not in the same way. When I met them, they was sweet and then everything turned sour. With Vivian-"

"Wait, her name's Vivian?" Race interrupted, looking suddenly worried.

"Yeah, she lives across the hall-" Once again he was interrupted, but this time it was by Race swearing harshly and moving past him to grab his boots from beside the door. It was Mush's turn to be alarmed, "Race, what's goin' on?" He demanded, stepping in front of the Italian.

Racetrack grunted as he shoved his foot in his boot, "Last night," He panted as he swiftly tied the laces and balanced on one leg to get the other foot in the second boot, "Carlos, an old friend of mine, came by the Ben." He paused and met Mush's gaze, his eyes dead serious, "There are many reasons I didn't take his woids ta heart, but this can't be a coincidence, Mush. He said there's a woman by the name of Vivian who lives in ya building. She has some debt ta Barkers so his underlings are goin' ta 'smoke her out'."

Mush remembered the trouble Race and his best friend Scott had with Barkers just last winter, and knew that this was grim indeed. He felt a wash of cold fear flood his veins as he realized that 'smoke her out' could only mean one thing.

"Hey, wait up!" Race exclaimed as Mush bolted out the door.

**A/N: Review, pretty please?**

**Truly,  
><strong>

**Joker is Poker with a J~  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize. I don't even own The Benjamin Hotel (The fictional one in my head, yes, but not the real one in NY!)  
><strong>


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

_"God gave the angels wings, and he gave humans chocolate." – Anonymous_

It seemed like she had just lain down to sleep before her late shift that she was slowly wakening once more. Usually, Nancy would wake her, but this time she couldn't quite pinpoint what exactly had brought her from her dreams. Dreams in which she was once again married to Shawn, but even though she called him Shawn and they lived back in the apartment in Brooklyn, his face was clearly the round, grinning face of Mush Meyers. Just as she floated back into consciousness, Shawn, instead of narrowing his green eyes, narrowed the chocolate brown eyes that were all Mush's. "If only," He said, in Mush's voice, "you'd have died instead of her."

Just like that, it was gone and she opened her eyes to clarify that she was in her apartment, albeit breathing heavily from the terrible nightmare. Those had been the only words Shawn had ever spoken that had the ability to scar her soul. To hear it in her head as if Mush had spoken it…it was the worst trick her unconsciousness could do to her.

She sighed, pushing it away so that she wouldn't dwell on it and closed her eyes to take a deep breath to calm her now frazzled nerves. She froze mid-inhalation and sniffed a second time to be sure. Burning. Eyes snapping open, she sat up to look around for smoke. Mrs. Mclean was in the bedroom, her voice soft and muffled as she spoke to Wesley. "Nancy?" Vivian called out, wondering if the older woman had left something in the oven even as her gut was telling her to _run_.

Nancy peered out of the bedroom, "You still have a little longer to sleep, dear." She replied, not yet smelling what Vivian was smelling.

"Are you cooking something?" She asked, standing up and then looking down in surprise as her feet connected with the warm floor. A thrill of adrenaline shot through her just as a lump of fear settled in her stomach. Her instincts were telling her that something was wrong.

Nancy walked towards her, shaking her head before she pulled up short and glanced down at the floor as well. Just as they met each other's gaze, they heard shouts coming from outside their door and down on the street. "Fire." Nancy breathed, a look of horror crossing her features.

Panic filled Vivian, "Wesley." She breathed, running past Nancy to the one small room where Wesley was settled into bed.

He wasn't asleep yet, just sitting in bed, and he smiled when she came in, "Momma!" he greeted just as she scooped up his small frame.

"Come on, baby. We gotta go." She moved to the front door just as Nancy pulled it open and a rush of smoke blew in. They all coughed as Vivian tucked Wesley's head into her shoulder. "The fire escape!" She yelled to the older woman, who was staring in terror at the flames that were speeding down the hallway in a straight line. Vivian paused long enough to see a line of unknown liquid that stopped just at her door before panic took over and she grabbed Nancy's arm and pulled her across the apartment. Handing Wesley to Nancy, she pushed open the window and helped them out of it.

Someone shouted at them from the street, but she didn't pay them any attention as she caught Nancy's gaze, "I forgot something. I have to go get it."

"Vivian, it's not worth it." Her longtime friend replied.

"I have to. Take Wesley and _go_." She rushed back into the fire without waiting for a reply. Once in the kitchen, she pulled a chair out to stand on and she clawed open the upper cabinet, her hands fumbling to reach the coffee can in the back. Pushing aside a pot, she reached for the top of the can, grunting in effort as she pulled it forward before realizing the cast iron pot was blocking the way.

The heat was insufferable, the smoke burning up her lings, but she powered through the pain of it all as she pulled things out from the shelf and dropped them on the floor. In her quest to hide her treasure, she had inadvertently made it difficult to get to it easy. And now she was running out of time to escape.

She pulled the pot out, swearing loudly as it fell and hit her foot. Biting back the flood of tears at the amount of pain, she reached once again for the coffee can. It was all she'd saved up, it was the very thing that could save them from Ridley and Barkers. If it was lost, the only future for her and Wesley was a dismal one.

Coughing, she pulled the can out and nearly tripped getting off the chair. Her right foot throbbed in pain but it was nothing compared to her lungs. Blearily, she tried to see through the smoke. Was she forgetting anything? No, everything was in this can, from Wesley's birth certificate to her wedding ring. Now, she had to get to the fire escape.

A voice through the smoke had her choking back another cough. At first, she'd swear it was her father's voice, telling her that everything was going to be okay. _That can't be good_, she thought, because her father had been dead for almost a decade. Squinting through the black smoke she managed to make out a figure coming towards her just as an ominous crack echoed through the apartment building and it gave a shudder.

For the briefest of moments, she thought it was Ridley. Vivian was not stupid; she knew that a line of gasoline had been poured straight to her doorstep. She knew it was a clear sign that he had found her. It was possible that he was here to kill her, slit her throat and claim the debt paid with her blood…

And then Mush's face appeared directly in front of hers.

Relief evident on his face, he quickly scooped her up as more coughs racked her body. He was already to the fire escape when they subsided for a moment and she choked out, "What…"

There was no time to finish the question; a beam fell behind them as Mush pushed her out the window and onto the fire escape. She stumbled, but caught the iron bar with one hand, the other arm still clenched around the coffee can.

She turned around just as Mush scrambled out of the window, his face covered in soot as he quickly grabbed her hand, "C'mon." Was all he said as he pulled her down the fire escape. He got down to the ground first and then effortlessly caught her by her waist and set her on the ground. Turning, he kept one arm protectively around her as he steered her out of the alley and across the street towards Nancy, Wesley, and a man she did not know.

As soon as they reached the three, a loud crack was heard and they all turned to watch the roof of the apartment building cave in. It seemed as if the men who were trying to put out the fire had given up on the building and were now only trying to keep it from spreading. Vivian felt tears gather in her eyes but she blinked them back.

Mush suddenly stepped in front of her, "Are you _crazy_?" He asked, not yelling but there was a thunderous look in his eyes, "What could _possibly_ be more important than your _life_, Vivian?" He questioned, grabbing her by her shoulders, "Youse were two seconds from being crushed by a beam!"

She shuddered as his hands tightened uncomfortably on her shoulders and immediately he let go of her. Taking a step back, he took a breath to calm down and then he looked at her imploringly. Vivian found herself looking back at Nancy and Wes, catching the woman's head bob. "M-my future, Mush."

He looked baffled and then outraged in quick succession, "Ya almost didn't have a future!" He shouted. The stranger stepped forward and put a hand on his chest, quietly murmuring to him. Sighing, Mush ran a hand through his hair and heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry." Mush's apology threw her off, but she nodded, "Let me…let me set ya up at the hotel."

Vivian's shoulders tensed, "No, thank you. We'll be fine on our own." It was a knee-jerk reaction to refuse, she didn't even give it a second thought.

Nancy stepped forward, "Vivian, we have nowhere to go."

Straightening her spine, she tried to look unmoving, "We don't need to rely on him. I'll work something out."

Mush watched her curiously, his brown eyes seeming to catch every small move she made. Nancy put a hand on Vivian's shoulder, "Vivian, this man just risked his own life to save yours."

Realization flooded through her and with it a wave of shame. He had saved her, hadn't he? But, she could not stand to have any man try to make decisions for her. She'd had enough of that in her marriage. Her vows had been to obey her husband and Shawn was great for throwing that in her face every chance he had. Now, here Mush was offering lodging and she could barely accept the gracious offer. She wanted to protest, began to…but couldn't think of any way to refuse. It would be just as crazy to refuse such an offer as it was to stay in a burning building for money. "Yes, you're right. I-excuse me, Mush, I'm being entirely unreasonable."

The stranger snorted, "A woman admitting to be unreasonable. I'll have to tell Clara about this." He commented, nudging Mush, who forced a smile.

Vivian looked at him questioningly and Mush blushed, "Oh, sorry. This here is my friend Racetrack. Racetrack, this is Vivian, Mrs. Mclean, and Wesl-oops. Looks like all our tawk put him to sleep." Mush gave a sheepish smile as they all turned to Wesley, who was fast asleep with his head on Nancy's shoulder.

Her heart melted as she gazed on her son. Tonight, she had come very close to making him an orphan. Shame filled her chest as she handed Nancy her coffee can and in return took Wesley. Her arms tightened protectively around him as they began to walk towards the Benjamin Hotel. She had tried so hard to protect him from the world and in one instant he could have found himself lost and completely at the mercy of the harsh streets of New York. Burying her head into her son's shoulder, she bit back tears. Was she being stubborn? Selfish, because she hadn't wanted to take Mush's charity?

Shyly, she cast her glance over to Mush as she remembered how his own arms had held her just as defensively as he had carried her in the burning building. His gaze caught hers and there was something unreadable in his expression. Slowing down, they let Mrs. Mclean and Racetrack move ahead as Mush took a deep breath, "Vivian…I don't want ta pressure you inta coming with me to the Ben. I just want you and ya family safe. Obligation free."

It was too late, though. Already, she was more indebted to this man than she would ever have wanted. To make it worse, everything she discovered about him made her a little closer to the possibility of falling in love with him. "Thank you." She said the words, but inside she was trying to rectify her walls. It was going to take a lot to keep Mush at a distant. It wasn't going to be easy, but it had to be done. She couldn't afford to believe in love for a second time.

**A/N: I didn't keep you waiting too long, now did I? I wanted to wait, but I really couldn't. I'm so eager to hear everything you guys think about this. I hope you all enjoyed it. I took great pains in writing it and I actually changed quite a bit from what I originally had. Let me know your thoughts by dropping a review!**

**On another note, Shotrock is holding a Summer fanfic contest. Just google New York Newsies Awards and it should be the first link. Go nominate your favorite stories! Nominations are until July 15th and voting begins shortly after that!  
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**Truly,**

**Joker is Poker with a J~  
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****Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.**  
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	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

_"Other things are just food. But chocolate's chocolate." - Patrick Skene Catling_

Back when they had all lived in the lodging house, Mush had never been given much credit. He was unwaveringly optimistic to the point that many of the boys had deemed him not quite right in the head. Naïve, enthusiastic, and a bit eager to please those around him, Mush had probably been as close to getting respect from the other boys as Blink was to giving respect to women.

However, there had been one unarguable attribute to Mush that all of the boys had respected and still did to this day. Whether or not you deserved it, whether or not you _wanted_ it, once Mush befriended you, he was loyal to you till the bitter end.

It had always seemed that, when it came to women, Mush's loyalty was always misplaced. Race had watched him throughout each of The Big Four and each time he'd silently pitied the poor man for being completely blind to those girls' faults. As he watched Mush make googily eyes at this Vivian, he wondered if this would be the fifth girl to shatter his friends' heart. He instantly wanted to dislike her, instinctively untrusting of any girl Mush was infatuated with, but, as he watched her body language and the way she talked he began to read a different story.

Pulling out a cigar, he mulled over what very little he knew of this woman. She held her son protectively, had gotten him and Nancy out first, so he could tell she took care of those she loved. However, where Mush was concerned, she tended to keep a small distance between them which intrigued him because even while she tried to keep that space, she was forever moving closer to him and then away again. As if she couldn't make up her mind.

She was also distrustful of just about anyone. Especially men, he noticed as they came upon the hotel. Her body had a way of tensing up whenever a man walked by or came close to brushing past her. There were any number of reasons for this attitude; the first and foremost deduction in his mind was abuse. Unfortunately, they had reached the hotel and Race was due to work so he wouldn't be able to keep a close watch on the woman.

Race reached the front door first and held it open for Nancy, Vivian and Wesley, and then Mush. As Mush passed him, he reached out, "Can I have a minute?"

Mush's eyes followed Vivians' back as he nodded and turned to Race expectantly. He met the Italian's serious expression and cocked his head to the side.

Reaching up to wipe the back of his hand across his forehead, Race met his friends gaze and glanced inside where the two women had stopped to wait for them looking rather awkward in their soot covered dresses in the grand hotel, "You are aware that Vivian's a little…" He searched for the right word.

"Cautious?" Mush asked, and Race nodded. "Yeah, Race. I think…I think she was abused. But I don't know a whole lot about her."

Race quirked an eyebrow, "Well, ya bettah learn, soon. 'Cause obviously someone's out ta get her…" He paused before adding, "And I'd rather you not get in the middle of it."

The longtime friends gazed at each other before Mush sighed, "Thanks, Race. But, I don't think ya have much ta worry about. She doesn't want anything ta do with me, really." And that was how he felt as he gazed into the Hotel at Vivian. She stood completely still in there, regarding the hotel, as she did with everything, wearily. Her brown hair had been up in a bun but was now loose, sticking out in odd angles rather adorably, and her face was smudged with soot; hiding the otherwise pale complexion. When he had first met her, he had thought she had looked rather odd, with the dark hair, light eyes, and light complexion. For some reason, he could picture her with blonde hair a whole lot easier than with her brown hair.

Her blue eyes suddenly turned to meet his and he felt his stomach drop along with the entire world and it seemed as if there was taut string that connected only them two. How he ached for this stranger he had barely known a few weeks.

At the same time, they both turned away, breaking the connection. Race was watching them and shook his head, "That's not what it looks like, Mush. Good luck, in either case."

Mush nodded, glad that Race was here to give him his honest opinion. While Blink was his best friend, he didn't often give good advice at least when it came to women. Turning back to the hotel, he stepped inside with Racetrack not far behind and apologized to Nancy and Vivian as he gestured for them to follow along.

David was at the front desk, which was unusual. "Hey, Davey. Where's Greg?" Race asked his friend. Greg was another front desk worker, who usually worked the shifts between Race and Mush.

"Sent him home. His wife went into labor." David replied, looking tired as his eyes slid past Race to Mush and the women. "Mush, didn't expect you till tomorrow." David, however, rarely missed a thing; he took in the appearances of the people in front of him and came to the most logical conclusion, "Fire?"

Mush gave him a chagrin smile, "How can ya tell?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you look like you just stepped out of a furnace." The corner of David's mouth twitched.

Grinning, Mush leaned against the counter, "Bein' dirty brings back the good ol' days, aye Davey?"

Rolling his eyes, David responded with a grunt. Mush inwardly sighed, anything about the days of being a newsie seemed to only put David in a bad mood; whereas, despite everything, Jack often times liked to reminisce. "Anyway, I need ta call in a favor. My buildings just about ashes. Mind if I get two rooms till I get a more permanent place?"

"One of the rooms for them?" David inquired, jerking his head at Vivian and Nancy.

"They lived across the hall from me but I can pay for theirs." Mush offered, because he knew one of his benefits of working here was a free room if he ever needed it; paying for their room wouldn't be too much a hit to his wallet.

David's blue eyes studied him for the briefest second before he shook his head, "No, that's fine." He turned to the key cabinet and slid the keys across the counter. "It's good publicity for the hotel to take in refugees."

The swiftest, sardonic grin passed over his face and Mush returned it with a genuine one of his own, "I owe ya, Davey." Taking the keys, he turned to the women, "Shall we?"

Mush was in the elevator when he looked at the room numbers. He hid his surprise as he realized David had given them suites. Both on the fourth floor, his right across from theirs. He wondered how Vivian would take him being so close to her. When the elevator dinged open, he tipped the bellboy and handed her the key to the room with two bedrooms, "This is your room key. Don't lose it."

"Yeah, alright." Vivian replied, rolling her eyes. The gentle joking caused both of them to smile. She realized she was just standing there smiling at him and ducked her head and headed towards her room.

Mush saw Nancy hide a grin as she followed the younger woman and Mush found himself smiling at their retreating backs. Part way down the hall, Vivian stopped and inserted the key, opened the door and let Nancy enter first. "Can you put him in one of the beds?" She asked, handing off her lightly snoring son. Nancy nodded and smiled, whispering good night as she entered.

Opening his own door, he turned his head slightly to watch Vivian as she paused hesitantly in her doorway, "Mush?"

He turned, half in and half out of his own room, "Yes?"

She glanced inside, as if she were inwardly warring with herself about something, "Thank you." She finally managed to get out, turning to meet his gaze and he was caught again by the clear blue of her eyes. "I mean, for everything. The room, saving me, and…and not prodding too much into what I'm dealing with."

It was true, he hadn't asked her about the coffee can she had risked her life for, or about the man she owed a huge debt to. She didn't even know that he knew she was the reason for the fire. However, he was acutely attuned to Vivian for whatever reason and he knew that asserting dominance over her for answers was not the way to go. Without a doubt, he knew that if he gave her time, perhaps she would come around.

That thought made his heart ache. What if she never came around? What if he wasted years pining over her and never gave anyone else a chance?

What if she never loved him?

"Ya welcome." He replied, only half in the conversation as his mind twisted in turmoil at all the what ifs. Giving him a small, genuine smile, she slipped inside her room and closed the door. He stood there for a long while, waiting for…for something he could not name. An assurance that things would work out, words that did not come in the stillness of the hallway. _I'd do it all again_, he thought, wondering if he should have added those words before she closed her door.

At that thought, he knew that the what-ifs didn't matter. He would take the chance. Because, it was different with her. She'd come off as rude to him as the others had turned out to be but in reality, under her defenses, she was as sweet as the chocolates she made. Most of all, she _needed_ him. Wesley and her both did, whether they knew it or not. Mush was the man who could provide for them; love them unconditionally, if she could only give him a chance…

**A/N: Gah, this feels slow going. But, I hope you enjoyed this. It's a little different than what I had originally planned but I didn't want to get too ahead of myself. I have the epilogue half written so I know what I'm aiming for but I usually let my character's direct me each chapter. **

**On another note, I have Blink's story all mapped out and I'm kind of excited. Which is probably why I'm trying not to rush this one. Anywho, drop me a review!  
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**Truly,  
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**Joker is Poker with a J~  
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**Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize!  
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	9. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

_"Caramels are only a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing." - Milton Snavely Hershey_

Vivian leaned against the door, that last image of Mush standing there looking incredibly sexy and so terribly lost planted firmly in her mind's eye. He had looked as if he were thinking disturbing thoughts that he did not want to face. A long silent part of her yearned for him to be thinking about if he'd lost her…but, that was selfish and she pushed that away. All the same, she felt compelled to go to him, comfort him…shaking her head of such things, she moved into the elegant suite Mush's boss had offered so obligingly. It was really quite a wonderful gesture considering how splendid the room was.

She pondered briefly on how close Mush must be to David for him to put them up in this room, if it could be called a room. It was even bigger than their apartment had been; the door to the hotel room leading into a beautiful parlor with two settees upholstered in an emerald green in front of a large fireplace. Staring around, mouth agape, she took in the luxurious furnishings, the walls were a tan, the trimming a mahogany that immediately brought Mush's eyes to her mind. The room felt earthy and warm as she turned around to look at all the small details it held.

There was a small table just inside, a welcome note from the hotel and a few mints in a bowl beside it. The lights on the wall were electric, and the carpet beneath her shoes was soft and it felt as if she were walking on a cloud. She could barely imagine what it would actually cost to rent this room for a night; probably her entire savings.

Nancy came out of the first of three doors that were off the main parlor. "Wesley's asleep." She murmured, taking in Vivian's wandering gaze. "This is the grandest place I've ever been in." The older lady added, following Vivian's eyes to the art above the fireplace.

Vivian replied, thoughtlessly, as she got closer to survey the charcoal sketching, "It's amazing how Mush has acquired this job. He used to simply be a newsboy." She didn't know a lot about art, making chocolates was her creative outlet, but she marveled at the picture; it depicted a street just like any of the ones you'd see in the city, the buildings on either side seeming as tall as the ones outside this Hotel as they went up and up, off the paper as they reached for the sky. The street was crowded with people of every walk of life and yet…not one of them had a clear face. As if it were a dream that never took the time to give faces to the crowd around you. And it represented a typical New York crowd so well it seemed as if the people were moving in the drawing.

"Oh?" replied Nancy, "I did not know he was a newsie."

She nodded as she turned to look at Nancy, "Mhm. With Racetrack, his friend Blink, and David, the owner of this hotel." Glancing back at the picture, she murmured, "We never start out the way we end up."

Nancy smiled, "That's because we change, dear. By actions, events, and our environment."

Vivian found herself shrugging, "I guess some people are more suited to adapting. But, not everyone changes." Her thoughts, of course, turned to her late husband with those words. Or, perhaps, he had changed, but not in a better way-a far worse way, to be exact. Shawn Gallagher had seemed a complete gentleman when she had first met him. Of course, he hadn't shown her the slightest interest, his affections saved entirely for her cousin, Elena. _And who couldn't love Elena?_ A little voice whispered in her mind, the voice that we all carried within us, and the very voice that knew exactly how to destroy you with one swing and yet, it always broke you down one cutting word at a time. "Hmm?" She asked, so consumed in her thoughts that she did not hear what Nancy asked.

Nancy walked over and smoothed a hand over her head, "I said are you going to send a message to Matthew? You are in no condition to go to work tonight, dear. You can afford to miss one shift." Her eyebrows were crinkled as she studied Vivian in concern.

"Sorry. Yes, I'll go see if they can send a message for me in the lobby." Vivian replied, pulling her mind away from the ghosts of the past. She didn't live there anymore, why did she continue to dwell on the things she couldn't change?

The older woman, who Vivian was also owed her life to, smiled, "Tomorrow, we'll run out and get you some dye. Your blonde is coming in."

Vivian waved the comment away, "I'm not worried about that. I'm afraid Barker's might have already found us." Without waiting for a reaction, she checked her pocket to make sure she still had the key before she left the room and headed back down the hall to catch the elevator down to the lobby. She tried, and failed, to keep from looking at Mush's door. There was no light beneath it and she felt disappointment sit in her gut as she assumed he had went to bed.

When she reached the lobby, she saw that both Racetrack and David were still at the counter, talking casually. Aware that these were Mush's friends, she felt self-conscious as she headed towards them. They stopped talking when they noticed her and David looked at her expectantly when she reached the counter, "What can I help you with?" He asked politely.

Neither of them had anything in their expression to show anything other than detached politeness, but she got the feeling they had been discussing her, "Is there any way I can have you send a message for me? I need to inform my employer about tonight's events." She replied, equally gracious to them.

David lightly hit the counter with his hand, "Hang on one moment." He turned and entered a room behind the front desk.

Race shifted his weight as he wrote in a ledger book and glanced at her, "Kid all tucked in?" He asked out of nowhere.

She nodded, just as the elevator behind them dinged and they both glanced up and she felt a thrill as Mush stepped out. He had freshened up and was looking relaxed with his face washed clean and a new shirt on. Unbidden, her eyes fell to the top three buttons that he'd left undone and she felt heat rise in her cheeks as she became aware of the smooth expanse of his chest that was there for all to see. Vivian pulled her gaze up and she met his brown eyes as he looked at her in concern, "Viv? You should be sleepin'. Ya've had a rough night." He told her, stopping a bit in front of her.

Startled at the nickname that she'd never been called, it took her a moment to reply, "I-I was just sending a message to Matthew." Something flickered behind his eyes before she clarified, "My employer. He owns Cain's Candies."

"Ah." Mush replied, nodding his head.

An awkward silence descended, none of them quite sure what to say. When David stepped out, holding a pen and paper, he, too, was aware of the odd tension. "A messenger is on his way over. Write your message on here."

"Thank you." She murmured, sincerely, as she met David's blue eyes. Despite the smile he gave her in response, there was a coldness to his gaze. Instead of being warm as the summer sky, they were as piercing as chips of ice. Ignoring the thrill of alarm, she dipped her head down to write her message.

Race directed his attention to Mush and she couldn't help but overhear as he invited Mush to a dinner party for his engagement. "What was the dinner foah that we went to?" Mush asked, sounding confused.

"That was a dinner for close family and friends." Race said, but his tone was exasperated, "Apparently, Clara needs to launch her engagement to the rest of New York society." He rolled his eyes at this.

"You mean launch _you_ into society." David added, a grin pulling up the corner of his mouth.

Vivian hid her own smile as she signed her name and handed the folded message to David, "Thank you, again."

"I'll walk ya back up." Mush said as she started to leave.

She protested, "You just got down here-"

He ushered her towards the elevator and waved back at Race and David, "It's alright. They'll see me tomorrow."

Defeated, she tried not to think about how pleased she actually was. It didn't matter, there was nothing and could be nothing between them. She had a lot of issues that this man did not need to take on for her. Repeating that in her mind, she sighed as the elevator closed.

"Hopefully, now you can get some sleep. I know it's been a long night for you." He told her, dipping his head down a bit to see her face. His body was close to her, more protective than invading, and it made her incredibly aware of the fact that she spent more of her time resisting this man than she should have to.

Nodding tiredly, she responded unguardedly, "Yes, but I think I'm looking forward more to the bath than the bed."

Mush's laugh caught her off guard as the door opened to their floor and it felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. It felt like this night had lasted three lifetimes rather than just a few hours. All of that, the fear and the uncertainty, felt like a pound of lead but just a little bit of laughter seemed to clear it all up. Mush gallantly walked her to her door, a small grin still hovering on his lips, and right before she went to open the door he said her name.

The way he said it, "Viv." Short and informal, possessive and familiar, made tingles of electricity course through her veins. What she would give for him to kiss her here and now.

_How easily you are manipulated by a handsome face_, once again that voice; that cynical, sardonic voice. "Yes?" She replied, a little uneasy with her own judge of character now.

Looking uncertain, he leaned against the wall beside the door with one shoulder, his scent and warmth enveloping her, "I-…I wanted ta know. Well, the thing is, Race is havin' an engagement party Saturday night and I wondered if ya wanted ta go with me."

Vivian processed the request a bit slowly, taking her time as trudged through the thought of what a dinner party would imply. An evening in the company of Mush, a dress, shoes, an evening with Mush…Immediately, she wanted to say yes. However, Saturday nights and Sunday mornings were her only shifts off and she usually spent the time with Wesley. That in addition to the things she'd need for a night out, it didn't seem like the best time for such a thing.

"Could I…give it some thought?" She finally said her heart unwilling to let her give him a straight no.

"Of course. Take all the time you need to." Mush smiled at her, his face so unfathomably sincere. That face coupled with the amount of goodness he'd shown since she'd met him gave her a tiny bit more confidence in herself.

"Good night." She whispered to him.

"Sweet dreams." Was his reply as he turned back to his own door. Gently, she shut the door and once again leaned against it. Once again, she pictured Mush as she'd just seen him. This time he was happy, hopeful, and so…she was at a loss for words. Straightening from the door, she felt a wave of exhaustion sweep through her. A bath and sleep would help clear her mind. Mush had been more than right when he'd said it had been a long night. She felt years older and at the same time she was as giddy as a school girl.

Taking a step away from the door, she paused as a flash of something caught her out of the corner of her eye. Halting, she slowly stooped to see a small slip of paper just under the crack in the door.

For a moment her heart stopped. Hesitantly, she reached out one shaking hand to pick up the folded paper.

_Vivian Gallagher, _

_ The fire was just a little show to wake you up. If you do not pay your debt soon, I'm afraid the main act will be either you or your son. Let's hope we don't have to punish the son for his parents' mistakes. _

_ R. Ridley_

_p.s. If you are having trouble coming up with the money, there is always an arrangement to be made between a woman and a man. _

**A/N: Yeah, I know. We are still in the same night as the fire and it's been like four chapters. But, I PROMISE the next chapter will have us going places. Yay! Aren't I awesome for updating so fast? Haha. **

**Oh, can I just take a moment to thank my lovely reviewers? Quite a few of them have been doing so since the very first chapter and I just adore them. I also love all of you who are just reading this story for pleasure. Though, if you review I sometimes drop in hints of what's to come! *wink wink*  
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**Thanks again! Review, please?  
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**Truly,  
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**Joker is Poker with a J~  
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**Disclaimer: Me. No. Own.  
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	10. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

_"I never met a chocolate I didn't like." - Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation_

Blink was waiting for him at the front desk when he came downstairs for his shift the next morning, "Hey, Kid." Mush replied, wearily. He hadn't slept very well, his thoughts turning over the situation with Vivian, how he could ease her mind a little bit, and perhaps how to find out just how much she owed Barkers. He gave Race a small nod of the head, and the Italian gave him an indecipherable look.

"That's all you got ta say ta me? 'Hey, Kid'?" Was the blond man's reply as he set down the bag he was holding and crossed his arms, blue eyes flashing dangerously, "And hows come I get ta hear about your apartment burning down from _The World_?"

Mush shrugged, "I didn't know where you were at and it's not like I was going ta hunt ya down aftah it happened." Hearing Blink complain about such a ridiculous thing so early and when he was so tired just grated on his very last nerves. "Didja want me ta send ya a telegram?" He added, sarcastically, as he went to punch in for his shift in David's office, realizing Race might have been signaling Blink's current foul mood.

His relentless best friend followed him, "Actually, yeah. That would have been nice considerin' I _ran_ here two hours before my shift to find out if Race had heard anything about you bein' alive." He scoffed, "Whattya know? Not only are you perfectly fine, but _Race_ was there for the whole thing. Knew the whole story down ta the last detail. Even knows ya got a thing for this Vivian, who I've only met once."

"Hey, leave me outta this." Racetrack yelled back to them.

They both ignored him and Mush scratched his head, trying to figure out where Blink was going with this rant, "So?" He finally inquired.

"So?" Blink repeated, looking affronted for some reason, "My _best friend_'_s_ apartment _burns ta the ground_ and he can't even take a little time out of his busy life to inform me he's still alive?"

It finally occurred to Mush what the issue was and with the epiphany came a new wave of aggravation, "Oh, awright, Blink. Next time I'm saving people from a fire, I'll take a second ta write you down a note. _Hey, Blink, currently fleein' a burning building. Hope the ceiling doesn't crush me as I sign my name. Mush_. God, Blink, I knew you were selfish but cut me a break."

Blink's blue eyes turned cold as he froze, "Yeah, I'm the selfish one." He said it in a low, dark tone, before storming out of the office. Mush followed, angry that they were fighting. He pulled up short as Blink picked up the bag from earlier and tossed it on the counter. The momentum carried it over the counter and it landed face down on the ground as he bit out, "It's not about what happened, Mush. It's about letting me know that, in the end, you were alright."

Without waiting for a reply, he turned around and headed to the kitchens. Mush stared in speechlessness at the bag for a moment before crouching down and turning it over. The pair of black shoes spilled out onto the carpet. Sighing, Mush picked them up and stood, staring at the shoes as if they were a lost puppy. "You awright?" Race asked, looking rather confused.

"Yeah." Mush said, fingering the black laces. When he'd been hired by David, he'd spent his first pay getting four pairs of new shoes-all with matching laces. Of all the things he'd hated about being an orphan, of living on the streets, it wasn't the empty stomach or the stink of summer that had bothered him. Blink knew more than anyone else how much Mush hated having cold feet; knew he hated having shoes with holes and laces that were frayed, broke, and too short to tie.

How had he known that after the fire, Mush would mourn the shoes lost in the flames? Blink had gone out of his way to buy these shoes after hearing the news, even if he wasn't certain Mush was alright. Guilt and shame coiled in his stomach as he put the shoes back in the bag and looked at Race, "Can you wait while I talk to him?"

Race shrugged, "I guess. Good luck, though. He was pretty mad."

Mush nodded his head resolutely as he went around the counter and headed towards the restaurant. He inhaled the delicious smells as he entered the kitchens, the aromas even more brilliant to a man who knew the cold gnaw of hunger.

Blink was in the small office in the back of the kitchen, one hand clamped in his hair, the other writing furiously on a sheet of paper. He knocked lightly on the open door and the blond lifted his head up to glare defiantly at him. Not a word left his mouth; he just sat there with the pen poised over the paper, staring down his best friend of ten years.

Miserably, Mush dipped his head before bringing his gaze back up to meet his friends eyes and show him how sincere he was, "Tommy," He started, using the nickname he'd called Blink before he had started wearing the eye patch, "I'm sorry. I-It didn't even occur to me that story'd be in the papes. I didn't think ya'd hear a thing till ya came in."

His best friend nodded slowly, "I might have…ovahreacted a tad." He finally conceded, "I was a little selfish. I shouldn'ta expected you ta message me right aftah saving a woman's life in a fire."

Mush felt color rise to his cheeks, "Race tell ya about that, huh?"

He came around his desk and gave Mush a stern, reprimanding look that was uncommon on the otherwise devilish features, "Yeah, and so help me, Mush, if you'd have died for some woman that don't love ya back, I'd have gone ta hell ta kick your ass."

"Who says I'd be in hell?" The curly-headed man responded, looking affronted.

Blink shrugged, "Maybe not hell. But, when I die it'd be nice ta know I have a little company." He winked and lightly punched Mush's arm. Mush smiled and shoved him back, glad that arguments between them never lasted very long.

MmMmMmMmMmM mMmMmMmMmM

The day passed uneventfully; only one patron had a problem in their room, two people checked out, and two couples checked in. It was rather slow, but Mush got through it, occasionally visited by Blink who wasn't as resigned to the Kitchen as Mush was to the front counter. Once, around noon, Mrs. Mclean and Wesley came down to visit him and Mush talked to her for close to a half hour while the six-year-old explored the lobby. He told her about David's plans to expand the hotel in a year or so.

"It's quite grand already. What more could he possibly add?" She asked, her eyes roving around the high ceiling, the large chandelier and the entrance to the elegant restaurant.

Mush shrugged, "I don't know. His is already the top of the line. Most hotels have guest bathrooms that are shared between floors or a few rooms. But, David had each room constructed with its own private one. He's got it all figured out so that guests never have much, if anythin', to complain about."

Mrs. Mclean gave a low whistle, "Sounds like the man's trying to fill an empty hole inside himself."

Surprised at her comment, Mush gave that a little thought. Perhaps, David was a little distant and everyone knew he was a work-a-holic, but he'd never given much thought about the _why_ of it. Of course, knowing David, he'd never find out, either. So it was best just to go along with him when he set his mind on some incredible idea. He had quite a few of them and they always seemed to work out.

Vivian came back around three, looking tired and worn as she entered the front doors carrying a paper bag in her left hand. Her gaze almost immediately went to his and he gave her a soft smile as he hurried around the counter, "Let me help you. How was work?" He asked eager to hear what she had to say and, yet, anxious about if she had an answer for him.

Letting him take the bag, she followed him over to the front counter and directed him to set the bag down, "It was fine." She replied, putting her hand into the bag and retrieving a rectangular box, "I-uh, got this. For David. In thanks for letting us stay here." She waved it towards the office, "Should I leave it in there?"

Mush took it and smiled at her thoughtfulness, "I'll put it on his desk. He had an appointment with an architecture firm." He set it on David's desk and came back out just as she pulled out a smaller, heart-shaped box.

"Um, this is for you." Vivian's face flushed red as she handed it to him, "I didn't know what your favorite was so I put all different varieties." She paused for a moment as he stared at the box in surprise before adding, "Its chocolates."

Slowly, he lifted off the top of the box and stared in wonder at the small pieces, before picking one up, "What's this one?"

Stepping closer, she smiled, "That's actually the new one I created today. I've been trying to fill the chocolates with different things but I can't get the hang of it. That one has a bit of peanut butter mixed in the batter. Next time, I'll hopefully get it in the middle."

He pressed the chocolate on his tongue and nearly moaned at the tastes that exploded in his mouth. "Oh man," He replied, "This is like…a tiny drop..of, of…mmmm, heaven." The peanut butter was so subtle, but it gave the little chocolate so much more.

"Oh, no. You gave him chocolate?" A voice said, interrupting Mush's moment with Vivian. They both turned to see Blink coming towards them, his navy blue jacket slung over one shoulder, "I'm not responsible for him." The blonde told her sternly.

Vivian's confused look met Mush's gaze and he smiled, "Chocolate gets me ah, little wound up."

"A little." Blink scoffed, "Last time he had a chocolate bar, he was bouncing off the walls."

Mush smiled at his friend as he picked up a white chocolate piece and popped it into his mouth, luxuriating in the way it melted on his tongue. "Thank you, Viv." He said after he'd finished it.

Her smile lit up her whole face and he knew he'd never met any woman more beautiful, "I'm glad you'll enjoy them." She started to turn away before casting a glance at Blink and then her blue eyes settled on his own once more, "And, uh, about…what you asked me last night?"

Eager and terrified to hear her answer all at the same time, he nodded his head as his stomach clenched in panic. What if she said no? How would he ever show her he was the right man for her if she never gave him a chance?

Vivian tucked back a stray strand of hair before her gaze dropped to the floor, "Uh, my answer is y-yes."

It took the longest moment to sink in, his brain having prepared to be shot down. As 'yes' left her mouth, his heart began to pick up double time and he wanted to dance right out of the Benjamin to tell everyone she was going to the dinner party with him.

The word, 'really' was at the tip of his tongue, but he stopped himself from asking it. He didn't want to give her a moment to say no, instead he chose, "Great! I'll meet you outside your room at six thirty?"

"Sounds good." She replied, smiling softly at him before waving good bye to both of them.

Mush stared after her retreating form as Blink sighed, "Another one bites the dust."

**A/N: I'm trying to keep this fic as historically accurate as possible, although I wish they had more information on mundane, everyday life during this time. sigh. Anyway! I'm excited I got this up so fast and now I know how everything will play out! Yay! Drop me a review, let me know how much you love Blink and Mush's bromance! **

**Truly,  
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**Joker is Poker with a J~  
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**Disclaimer: You know the drill.  
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	11. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten**

_"What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate." - Katherine Hepburn_

"I don't know if I can do this." Vivian whispered, staring at the older woman in the mirror who was currently styling her hair. Nancy sighed, her hands pausing to study the vulnerable look at her face.

Their eyes met through the mirror and Nancy nodded her head, "Yes, you can. Vivian, it's been over a year since he died. A woman has to accept her past and trust herself not to make the same mistake. Mush is not a mistake. Somewhere down the line, honey, you stopped trusting yourself."

She couldn't hold her gaze; Nancy was right. In the four years of their marriage, three of which were spent in constant fear, that voice had entered her head that sounded eerily like Shawn. It was that voice that made her doubt even her most instinctive feelings. "Well, I'm trying tonight." She found herself saying, straightening her spine and lifting her chin, "But, that's not what I meant. I don't think I can do the other thing we discussed…"

_Leading Mush on with ulterior motives_, that voice whispered and she made a noise in the back of her throat to drown out the negativity. It wasn't leading him on, she tried to convince herself. It was…accepting his invitation that could open up more opportunities that would, eventually-perhaps-, allow them to try things later for real.

Except, who was she kidding? Mush wasn't the right guy for her. Maybe he thought she was what he wanted but he didn't, really. There was a woman out there far more worthy of the loyal, handsome Mush Meyers. No, sometime in the future she'd meet a nice man who she'd settle down with. A man that would be a kind father to Wesley and they'd live complacent lives. A man who didn't gamble, or beat women; a man who was comely in appearance and lacked ambition. That man was not Mush.

Nancy stepped back as she finished Vivian's hair and nodded her head, "You can, Vivian. Because you _must_." She sat on the small bench beside Vivian and cleared her throat, "I-I never told you, but the reason I lived alone in that building when you and Shawn moved in was because…I'd left my husband almost ten years ago." Vivian met the older woman's soft eyes and realized she was about to talk about the taboo events that had brought about their first meeting.

"I grew up on a small farm in upstate New York and I hated it. Day after day, everything was the same." She sighed as her gaze grew far away at the memories of her home, "I'd heard about New York City, the sheer size of it I could not even comprehend. My heart yearned for this city I'd never seen, for the tall buildings and the busy streets. It was ever-changing; fast-paced, new.

"Even as I daydreamed about the city, I fell in love with a man. I was completely blinded to his faults; realizing later that the tell-tale signs were there. He came from a broken home, his father a drunk and an abuser, his mother long gone. I figured he'd rise above his father because of the sheer loathing he held for the man…" Nancy trailed off as she remembered the man she had loved and Vivian felt a pain in her chest at the parallels between them. Shawn had come from an abusive father and she wondered if something like that could pass down; or if he learned it.

Nancy twisted her fingers together, "But, a year or so into our marriage, just as I was becoming resolute on the fact that I'd always be stuck in that small town, I found out I was pregnant. John and I rejoiced in my news, our love renewed by the baby that would be a piece of the both of us." Her eyes began to fill with tears, "And then one day, I awoke in blood covered sheets…He called the doctor and the doctor came. He gave us the news we had guessed at-the baby hadn't made it. To top it off, he told me that no matter how hard we tried I probably would never have a baby that would make it to term."

Vivian reached out as the story turned and gripped the woman's hand tightly for comfort, half-wishing she could beg the woman to stop the story to save her pain. She realized, however, that secrets like these sometimes needed to be told in order to save a person further suffering. Nancy squeezed her hand as she continued, "After that, John began to drink and within a few months he was almost the exact replica of his father. He'd knock me around, apologize, and then do it all again a day or so later. It was a never ending cycle that only had two outcomes; one of us had to leave.

"Whether he would eventually drink himself to death or kill me, I did not stay to find out. After one particular brutal beating, I packed a small suitcase and took the money my father had given me on our wedding day. Perhaps a part of me always knew I'd need it and that's why I kept it from him. In either case, I took whatever transportation was available that would bring me here. I lived in the slums of Brooklyn, slaving away in a sewing factory for years before I could afford the apartment where I met you, the picture perfect bride as you two moved in."

Smiling ruefully, Vivian glanced at the mirror where they were both reflected, "A happy bride the first year before discovering the monster inside the men we married."

Nancy, too, turned to look and instead of being bitter, she gave a half-smile, "It has made us the better for it, Vivian. Once you know where to look, you can see the monster in the men that have them. I assure you, Mush is not one of them."

Vivian sighed, "I suppose I've known this."

"Yes. But, what I'm really getting at, Vivian, is that sometimes we have to make a wrong choice that will lead us to the right one. Shawn was the wrong choice, but it all lead you here to Mush. Tonight, you'll do something that isn't right but I'm certain it will be for the better-in the end. Now, stay here. I have a surprise for you."

The older woman left the room, leaving Vivian alone with her thoughts. She felt a new surge of love and compassion for the woman who'd given up so much to protect Vivian and Wesley from Barkers. They had planned for months how Vivian would dye her hair, how they'd move in together, and how Vivian would take Nancy's last name. It had been Nancy's idea to move away months before the money was due and to stagger the dates they left. It had all been so ingenious that she could hardly believe Robert Ridley had been able to find them at all.

When Nancy re-entered, she was cradling a folded article of clothing. Smiling at Vivian's curious face, she slowly unfolded it and held up the dress. "Oh, Nancy…" Vivian breathed, stepping forward to finger the cloth. It was much simpler than the dresses of fashion today, but it was nonetheless beautiful. Although it looked more of a day dress than an evening gown, it was made of a light blue satin.

"I saw the fabric one day and I just fell in love. I bought it and slaved over this dress in the evenings when I wasn't working, but still in the mood to sew. It's my own design; I went for simplicity over extravagance-not that I would have been able to afford extravagance." Nancy explained, laughing at the look on Vivian's face, "Go on. Try it on. I made it a few years before I met you, but when you moved in I just knew you'd compliment this dress."

Gleefully, Vivian quickly stepped behind the divider to change into the dress and sighed in happiness as it slid over her body. "I don't think I've worn anything so beautiful. Not even my wedding dress." She told Nancy as she stepped back out.

Nancy smiled, "I was right. I don't expect Mush will want to bring you back here anytime tonight."

* * *

><p>Nervously, she smoothed out her dress. They were in a carriage on their way to Gramercy Park, Mush and Blink sat across from her talking amicably. Both looked sharp in their finery and she tried, unsuccessfully, to imagine them as newsboys. Nor could she imagine them as stuffy, upper-class gentlemen, especially when Blink howled with laughter at something Mush said. They were a strange mix of boy and man; they walked confidently, but carried on as only rowdy orphans could.<p>

Mush was smiling as Blink laughed, but caught her gaze and he seemed to know instinctively how uneasy she was. He moved over to sit next her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it in comfort, "Hey, it'll be awright." He murmured for her ears only. She gave him a tight smile and he added, "Did I tell you how beautiful you look?"

He had. A blush rose up on her cheeks as she nodded just as the carriage jerked to a halt. "We're here?" She asked, her stomach flip-flopping with renewed nerves.

Blink got out first, Mush following close behind. He turned to offer Vivian his hand and she smiled anxiously as she touched the sidewalk and they headed up the front walk. The mansion loomed above her, whisking her breath away as she took in the enormous size and grandeur of it. As they walked forward, she straightened her spine and threw back her shoulders. She could do this; she'd get it over with early in the night and then spend the rest of the night having a good time while getting to know the man beside her. He deserved that much.

And then the front doors opened and the light and laughter filtered out as they ascended the steps. Vivian's hand tightened briefly on Mush's arm before she plastered a smile onto her face and met the couple at the door. She instantly recognized Racetrack, his face open and smiling but even more so now as his eyes fell every few seconds on the petite redhead beside him. "Mush, Blink!" She greeted, as they stopped just inside. Her green eyes swung to Vivian's as she added, "And you must be Vivian! I've heard a lot about you!"

"Hello." Vivian replied, guessing this woman was Clara, "It's wonderful to meet you."

"Do come inside." Clara responded, taking Vivian's arm and propelling her away from Mush and safety, "I adore your dress. It's beautiful." She added, smiling at Vivian pleasantly.

"Thank you." Vivan said sincerely, before she remembered her manners, "Your dress is simply lovely."

Clara's dress was far more splendid, of course, but neither of them pointed that out. "Race told me all about the fire; it's simply awful to hear. I'm glad you are all safe and sound." She patted Vivian's hand and Vivian felt herself relax. The redhead sounded sincere and she didn't seem to be quite as awful as other women of the upper class seemed to be.

"Thank you. I'm just glad no one was injured in our escape." Was her reply as Clara steered her over to where the men had gathered.

"Oh, look. Jack's here! Do come meet him." The petite woman really excelled at navigating her way through the crowded house, Vivian mused, as she caught Mush's gaze. He seemed to relax when he saw her and he gave her a small smile as the bodies parted and Clara and her joined his group.

As soon as Clara stepped up next to Race his arm slid around her shoulders effortlessly. At the same time, the group grew quiet as Mush moved to stand beside her once more, "Vivian," He greeted as he gestured to the only stranger, "This is Jack. He's a friend from back in our newsie days."

Her gaze took in Race, Clara, Blink, and David before landing on the one man whose face was not familiar. He was the tallest one there, only David coming even close to his height, and he stood with such confidence he seemed to fill the whole room. He held out his large hand and she shook it with a bit of hesitancy, trying not to stare at the long scar that snaked vertically down his cheek, "Nice to meet you." She murmured, even as she realized that there was a tense air to the group, "Do you also work at the Benjamin?" Her question came out of the awkward silence but it did the opposite of breaking the tension.

Subtly, she took in the group's body language and realized that although they all seemed completely at ease on their faces, their body's betrayed that. She noticed it most prominently between David and Jack, who were as far from each other in the circle of friends as they could get. "Nah," Jack answered easily with a deep voice that was at odds with his lanky physique, "I work at a factory. More of a hands-on man."

"I'll drink ta that!" Blink joked as he picked up a glass of champagne from a server with a tray.

The group laughed and she felt the tension ease just a bit as Mush slipped his hand into hers and squeezed lightly. "I'm just going to take a moment and talk ta Race, ya gonna be alright?" He whispered in her ear.

It was her moment. She nodded and smiled as he stepped over to talk to Racetrack. "Clara, can you point me to the powder room?"

Clara smiled as Race and Mush stepped away from her and took Vivian's arm, "This way."

With Vivian in tow, the woman once more made her way through the crowd, greeting people as she went and dodging a few others until they were back near the front lobby, "You're going to go up these stairs. It's the second door on the right. I can wait here for you, catch a breather from all these guests." Clara fanned her face with her hand and Vivian thanked her as she walked up the stairs, careful not to look too eager.

Once she was out of sight of the woman, she glanced up and down the hallway to check for any servants. Deciding she was in the clear, Vivian put her hand on the closest door knob and turned it. Locked.

Moving up the hallway, Vivian tried every door on the left side only to be met with every one of them locked. Sighing in frustration she almost gave up as she leaned against the last door…and nearly fell backwards as it opened into a study. Surprised, she caught herself and stared around in awe at the book shelves that lined the walls and the beautiful oak desk that sat near the window. Glancing around, she took in everything in one brief glance before deciding which item would be worth the most and would be the easiest to conceal.

Once more, she steeled herself. She was about to rob this house, to rob the Clara's family…a family that had more than enough money, she argued, to save her _own_ family. To save Wesley…to save herself. Nancy was more than right. Sometimes you had to do things against your morals to save yourself from doing something far worse.

Walking over to the bookshelf, she found a small case with a gold coin on display. It had the profile of a man with foreign words curved along the top. Nibbling her lip, she slowly held her hand out to touch the glass case just as a voice startled her from behind, "If you're looking for the powder room, it was the second door on the right."

**A/N: Uh oh. Someone's been caught! Teehee. A few things I'd like to mention: you all should follow me on twitter, links in my profile. I generally tweet about how my chapter's coming. This one took me forever simply because I knew how I wanted to write about the dinner party but Nancy's story took me a little off track. However, there will be more of the dinner party in the next chapter.**

**On a slightly different note, I have the majority of this story's Epilogue written as well as a tiny bit of Blink's prologue. Perhaps, if I get a bunch of reviews, I'll put up a teaser of the prologue in the next chapter's author note.  
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**Thank you to all who've read and reviewed this! OH! And this story made the final cut on Shotrock's NYNA summer contest! So, it'd be lovely if you all voted for it!  
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**Review!  
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**Truly,  
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**Joker is Poker with a J~  
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**Disclaimer: I own nuffin.  
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	12. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

_"If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you. But you have no chocolate! I think of that again and again! My dear, how will you ever manage?" - Marquise de Sévigné_

"Have ya kissed her?" Race's unexpected question brought back Mush's attention as the two women exited the large ballroom. He was completely and utterly dazzled by the one in blue. It was hard not to be, not when she smiled at him in that hesitant, adorable way or when she'd been swept away by Clara only to look around searchingly for _him_. It was quite possibly the greatest feeling in the world.

"No." Mush replied airily as the Italian rolled his eyes. Offended by the action, Mush found himself asking, "Why?" rather defensively.

Racetrack chuckled as he held up his hands, "Just that if ya gazin' at her all lovey-dovey now, I can't imagine how much worse it'd be if ya were actually in love with her."

Understanding, but unwilling to comment, Mush reached into his pocket and brushed his hands over the small slip of paper that was the business he had to discuss with Race. It was rather unnerving how something so tiny could be so threatening; how something as insubstantial as this bit of script could upset someone's entire world. Deliberately, he removed it gradually and passed it along to Races' hand as he recounted the story of how it had gotten into his possession.

Race, who never smoked Cigars in the Renwick's house, inclined his head to the front porch and together they moved to exit the ballroom. Blink and Jack even exited the ballroom to appear as if they were all going to step out as a group before both went their separate ways in the entry hall. Clara, who was still waiting for Vivian, gave Race a look in askance, but he merely kissed her on the forehead before they stepped outside.

Leaning against the railing, he lit up his cigar and inhaled deeply, "Well, it ain't lookin' good. If ya willing ta do this, Mush, ya might wanna act fast. Or maybe tawk ta her about it."

"I was thinking about doing it tomorrow and then tellin' her about it later. Knowing how skittish and independent she is, it'd be the only way." He'd thought about all the scenarios as soon as Wesley had approached him. The kid was small for his age, but he was quite smart. Although he hadn't had much in the way of schooling, he knew enough to read his mother's name on the paper in the trashcan. Instead of going to Nancy or Vivian, he'd gone to Mush and asked him what it said.

He didn't feel good about reading something that was so obviously personal to Vivian, but it had reinforced his urge to protect her in whatever way he could. And, fortunately, he had enough in the way of savings.

Still, even though he hadn't known her very long, he knew her well enough to hesitate in bringing this up. Vivian was, of course, fiercely independent. Especially in the way of her family, as was cemented on the night of the fire. If he offered to lend the money, she'd see it as a hand out, or that she owed him and perhaps she would think he would expect certain favors in return. He didn't, of course, but any of that would only push her farther away from him.

However, if he went and paid her debt and then told her, she would see that he didn't expect anything. That he'd done it because he cared about her, whether or not anything came of it. It would be done to protect her and her family and maybe, in time, she'd see that he was steadfast and reliable.

"What if she gets angry at you foah going over her head? I know how angry Clara was when I went and paid off Scott's debt and didn't tell her." Race contributed, bring Mush from his thoughts.

He mulled that over, "Well, Viv and Clara ain't the same. Clara's uppah class, she'd used ta everyone running everything passed her beforehand. Viv's workin' class. I think she'll undahstand if I get her out of the situation before it gets any worse."

Racetrack didn't look particularly convinced, but he shrugged and gave Mush directions to Keenan's Bar. "Don't lingah too long. Get in, get out, and don't give him any reason to remembah ya face."

Clara opened the door and peered out at them, "Are the two of you done? There's dining and dance to be had this evening."

Mush smiled at the redhead and nodded, "If ya wanted a dance with me, Clara, you coulda just said so." He told her, smiling sweetly as he went by her and caught sight of Vivian just inside. She looked a little pale, but she grinned at him as he held out his arm for her to take.

"Only after you've danced with me." Vivian told him and though his stomach flipped at her words, he could see a bit of fear in her eyes. Once he noticed that, it became obvious that although she was trying to look calm, her shoulders were tense, her smile was tight and she held herself as if she were about to fall apart.

Worried, he followed her lead and tried to redirect everyone from noticing the subtle signs that were so evident to him. It took every ounce of will to keep up their charade and not cart her out of the dining room to find out what was wrong. He fought it, nevertheless, and even got a few genuine smiles out of her before everyone began trickling back into the ballroom for dancing.

"Would ya like ta go out inta the gardens for some fresh air?" Mush finally had the opportunity to ask.

Vivian nodded her head looking relieved as he took her out the French doors that led to the garden. He led her to the left of the doors and over to a small bench that sat in front of what looked like rose bushes. "Thank you." She murmured as he settled in beside her.

"Ya looked…strained." He told her, watching her face for her reaction.

She closed her blue eyes for a brief moment and he waited with bated breath for her answer. "This, all of the dining, dancing-," She paused to meet his gaze, "i-it…brings back memories. Of when I was younger. I didn't know it would be this hard."

He cocked his head, curious, terribly curious about this woman in front of him, "Were you an uppah class girl?" His light, teasing tone went a long way in relaxing her.

Shaking her head, she let out a soft laugh that was almost a sigh, "Oh, no. I immigrated here from Switzerland with my cousin when I was thirteen. _She_ was the upper class one, I was sent along as her ladies' maid." Her voice was soft, but there was a touch of bittersweet behind it.

Mush tried to imagine her thirteen-year-old self, fresh off the boat and in a brand new city, surrounded by all the extravagance of the wealthy and yet denied it because she was only a ladies maid. "It sounds like you were fond of her, though."

He was briefly mesmerized when her shoulder lifted in a shrug, but he listened as she continued her story, unbidden, silently pleased that she felt comfortable enough to tell him something personal, "Elena was patient and sweet, though she was far from perfect. She had a terrible temper, but she was fair and kind. She was such a goody two-shoes; I was forever getting her into trouble. Everything was always my idea but she never hesitated in lying to cover for me. She was my best friend and we shared everything…until Shawn." Vivian's light eyebrows drew together, a darkness entering her eyes at the name that was unfamiliar to him.

"Shawn was all hers, down to the evenings when she'd climb the trellis next to her window and meet up with him. She wouldn't even confide in me about him until well into the relationship." There was a bittersweet turn to her mouth as she went silent.

Mush waited, but she did not continue. Gently, he asked, "What happened?"

Vivian brought her eyes to his, as if she were becoming aware of where they were and who she was talking to. Regarding him, she gave him the answer he'd been half expecting, though it was said with a frankness that surprised him after her affectionate tone at describing her cousin, "She died. Caught pneumonia after swimming in the East River in spring."

He had questions about that, but she seemed to clam up and he didn't want to push her. Thinking fast, he said the first thing that came to mind that would cheer her up, "Did you know that Clara once held a knife to Race's throat?"

The change of subject startled a surprised laugh out of her, "No!" She said, the sorrowful memories all but pushed away as she heard this news, "Why?"

Laughing, Mush told her the story of Clara and Race's meeting. It utterly pleased him to hear her laughter, the light that appeared in her blue eyes as they carried on merrily. Out there in the garden, surrounded by the floral smells, the soft whisper of the night that cloaked them with just the faintest undertone of the lilting music of the party, he felt more at peace than he had since before his mother died.

With that feeling overwhelming him, he unconsciously leaned closer to her, his eyes dropping to her lips and he felt a spike of desire when her tongue darted out to wet them.

And then she was meeting him the rest of the way, the air around them sizzling as their lips touched just a moment. "Alex." The hesitation, the doubt, in her voice and the sound of his name slipping from her tongue had him overcome with the urge to quell any of her reservations. Slipping his hand up to cradle her head, he brought her lips back to his in a kiss that rocked his entire world.

**A/N: *grumbles* Sorry, I really am. This chapter took me forever, it was unbearably hard to write. Hopefully, though, this little roadblock is the last one and I can get the rest of the chapters written fairly quickly. I don't have a ballpark figure on how many are left. Things should be coming to a head soon, though. I promise I'll try not to make you guys wait nearly as long as you did for this one! Please, review!**

**Truly,  
><strong>

**Joker is Poker with a J~  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize.  
><strong>


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Chapter Twelve**

_"Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time." – Anonymous_

Her brain had shut down with the explosion of pleasure at his lips on hers. Never, in all of her life, had anything been as perfect and magical as this moment; it was a fairytale, a dream come true. It was every girl's vision of how a first kiss should be. The garden was alive around them, the music and light floating out to them from the ballroom and all with this amazing man who was sweet, caring, and protective. The complete trust she had in him, so soon in this relationship, startled and scared her, and yet she couldn't pull away. She wanted to curl up in the safety that was Mush Meyers and let him protect her in a way that she had never really let anyone else.

"Mush?" The abrupt voice broke through the perfect moment and they both pulled away to see who had interrupted their quiet utopia.

"Yeah, Blink?" Mush responded his eyes fixed on his friend just over her left shoulder. Slightly disoriented, she turned to see the blonde man several yards away. His face was hidden by the shadows as the light poured behind him and yet she got the feeling he had purposely sought them out in the hopes of disrupting them.

Blink came close enough for them to see him and she was surprised to see the red hand print that stood out on his left cheek. He didn't even seem aware of it as he told Mush, "They're giving a toast. You two should probably come in." His tone was slightly disapproving and she hid a smile as she realized they were being reprimanded by the ladies' man and it was obvious he was not a fan of her.

Following them in, Vivian tried to pay attention to their conversation, and the toasts, and everything else around her but she found that she was just too mentally exhausted. The night had been more eventful and less successful than she had originally planned.

"Hey, ya look tired. Ya ready ta go home?" Mush asked, inclining his head to catch her gaze. It stunned her how observant he was, how he always seemed to know what she was feeling, and never had she met a man she was so acutely aware of-or who was so acutely aware of her.

She nodded, feeling relieved as Mush told her they would just say goodbye to Race and Clara. She thanked them and they exchanged pleasantries before Mush was herding her out the door and down the walk to the awaiting carriage. Climbing inside, she settled in and sighed in contentment just as Mush sat beside her. Until Blink clambered in and sat across from them, causing Mush to quirk an eyebrow, "Ya going to the Benjamin?"

The blond man shrugged, "I need to get some work done."

Mush and she exchanged a glance and she found herself enjoying this moment with him; this bond that now existed between them. It baffled her and, yet, she found that she cherished it. It was something she hadn't experienced with Shawn, something she hadn't experienced with another person since perhaps Elena. As the carriage jolted forward, she let herself relax with the two men; trusting Mush and trusting in his obvious trust in Blink. Unbidden, she found herself flashing back to the horror-filled moment when she'd been caught in the Renwick library.

_"If you're looking for the powder room, it was the second door on the right." The deep voice of Jack nearly stopped her heart as she sprung from the gold coin and whirled to face the stranger. _

_ She licked her lips nervously, "I-uh, just got lost and, uh, stumbled in here…" She prayed for her voice to be steady, prayed that this man would believe her story and not tell anyone. _

_ He didn't say anything right away, just leaned casually against the door frame and studied her through eyes more world-weary than should be for a man as young as him. The pale, silvery scar stood out against his tanned face, his hair falling casually into his eyes as slowly raised an eyebrow, "I know desperation when I see it." _

_ Tensing, she felt her hackles rise in defense as she retorted, "I don't know what you mean."_

_ Jack sighed and stepped into the room, softly closing the door behind him. It was quiet a moment, they heard footsteps pass by, and then silence until Jack replied, "Ya a desperate woman, Vivian. Looks ta me like ya scared, and, well, you know what they say. Desperate times call for desperate measures." His head inclined to the gold coin still in its case. "So, what is it? Money to eat? Or are ya protecting ya family?"_

_ "It's none of your business." _

_ "No? I'm sure Mush would like ta know that his date was about ta steal from his friend's fiancé." Jack crossed his arms and kept that damn eyebrow raised as she blew out an agitated breath._

_ "You have no proof. Maybe I was admiring it." Vivian crossed her own arms, hating being cornered by this stranger, this man who knew nothing of her or her story._

_ He sighed and dropped his arms, "How 'bout I cut ya a deal. You tell me ya problem and I won't say a word about you being in here."_

_ The gentleness in his tone had her mimicking his actions as she let her arms fall and sighed. She had no choice, "It's a long story. But, the simple truth is that my husband died and left me his debt. I've been running from it but…they found me. It's this," She waved a hand at the gold coin, "or prostitution." Her stomach rolled as she said the word in a blasé tone, feeling anything but that._

_ He nodded, "I see. But, ya know you have some othah options, right?"_

_ A laugh escaped that was anything but amused, "Like what?"_

_ Jack shrugged, "Well, you've made some friends here tonight. Ya evah heard of asking? I doubt Mush would let you prostitute yaself."_

_ Scoffing, she moved to leave, "I'm not borrowing money from him."_

_ "Too proud?"He taunted as she reached for the door handle._

_ Whirling around, she met his brown gaze, so unlike Mushs', and glared, "_No_. But, what would it accomplish? I'd still be in debt. Just to someone else."_

_ He rolled his eyes, "Yeah, but to someone who wouldn't bully you to pay him back."_

_ Furious, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, "I'm done here." She moved to leave again before turning back, "I relied on one man for far too long and he abused his power and left me in the hole. I can't-_won't_-rely on Mush and risk it all again."_

She pulled away from the heated moment, turning to glance at Mush as the carriage jaunted down the cobblestone streets. Her heart was racing from the memory of the run in with Jack, her fear the rest of the night that he'd say something, at the dinner table and later dancing. All of that stress, however, had melted as they had gone out to the garden. She hadn't lied when she told him about the effect of the dinner party, the memories of Elena's world coming back to haunt her. But, it had only been half the truth.

She was still stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Although…the words Jack had said had a ring of truth, she knew. Even so, she was reluctant to follow his advice-she already owed a bigger debt than money to Mush. And as much as she wanted to believe Nancy-believe her own heart-that Mush was a good man, she couldn't. She'd already misjudged one man. It was hard to trust yourself after such a big mistake.

The carriage stopped and once again she found Mush helping her out, smiling at her as if she were the most wonderful thing that had ever happen to him. Oh, how that smile pulled at the strings of her heart. He tucked her hand in the crook of his arm and escorted her to the elevator as Blink went the opposite way, bidding them goodnight but narrowing his eyes as he briefly met hers.

Unsettled by the sudden animosity, she sidled closer to Mush as they stepped onto the elevator and he punched in their floor number. "Did you have a good time?" He asked, breaking the silence.

His earnestness caused a smile to pull at her lips and she met his gaze to show him how sincerely it meant to her that he had brought her tonight, despite the events that had transpired between Jack and her, "Yes. Thank you, it was so very wonderful."

Positively beaming at her response, he mused, "I wonder who Blink angered? He was in a terrible mood and that red handprint? I really can't say I'm surprised."

A laugh escaped, and she felt a flood of affection for Mush, "I'm sure it was some maid he was terrorizing." She joked.

Mush looked thoughtful, "Well, he has been kind of obsessed with Clara's maid…I wonder if she put him in his place." He grinned as they got out of the elevator and moved down the hallway.

Suddenly, she realized their night was about to be over and she was overcome with regret. Given that she hadn't managed to solve her money problem, she would have thought she'd be glad it was over. But, in all honesty, she found that being with Mush made her genuinely happy. Even with the bad parts of the night, even though she had vehemently swore to Jack that she wanted nothing from Mush; she found that she actually did. She wanted his attention, his smiles and laughter and yes, his kisses.

Seeming on the same page as her, Mush stopped her outside their doors and shifted nervously, "Well, I guess this is good night…unless…"

"Unless?" A part of her was saying no, and another part didn't want the night to end.

His brown eyes searched her face, "Unless you want to tawk some more." He gestured to his door and she found herself nodding her agreement as if her brain had shut down and her heart had taken over.

"Alright."

As if in a dream, he took her hand in one of his and used the other to unlock his door and without another word they entered the suite together.

**A/N: Ehhhh, tell me what you guys think of this chapter in a review?! Let me know how Vivian's character is coming along. I feel like she's so conflicting and I'm not sure if she's coming off as that or she's just not how I wrote her in the prologue…Reassure me, people! **

**Oh, and I realized I promised you all a little snip of the Prologue to Desperate Measures. So, without further ado:**

"_**If I could say what you'd like to hear, I'd whisper in your ear it's only temporary…**_

_**But I've been taking you for granted."**_

_**-By Now, Marianas Trench**_

_ She was gone._

_ The coldness that had been present before she'd entered his life was slowly creeping back through the small apartment. He was distinctly aware of the emptiness around him, encasing his form and sliding into his veins as the reality of his current situation hit him. _She was gone.

_ It was as though the time they were together had been no more than a dream he was awaking from, surprised by how real it had been and mourning the fragmented memories that were, already, beginning to fade away. The utter despair he suddenly felt, the confused horror of his questioning why, _why would she leave me resounded_ through his soul as he desperately searched through the apartment for any sign. Anything she might have left behind to give him hope that maybe she'd be back. _

_ As he searched a third time and then a fourth, he found himself slowly facing the reality that not a hair of her was left. _

_ She wasn't planning on coming back._

_ Shutting his eyes, he pushed away the sudden feeling of abandonment and tried to accept the fact that, now at least, he was good and truly alone; as he was surely always meant to be. Carlos Fuentes had finally met his mate and, just like everything else, he'd completely wrecked it. Instead of getting paid to find people, he should be paid to destroy everything. That was all you could count on him for. _

_ And the worse thing was that he knew exactly what he'd done; even as he tried to deny it. Carlos could kick and whine and ask, "What have I done? Why would she do this?" But, deep in his frigid soul, he knew exactly what he'd done to make her leave. Their last argument was still embedded in his mind, the image of her face when he told her things he'd been keeping from her surfaced in his mind's eye and he felt sick with self-hatred. He had finally told her the truth-about everything-and it hadn't even been because he felt guilty. It was because he was a sick, twisted individual who wanted to hurt her, to push her, and see how far he could until she was gone._

_ Well, he'd gotten his answer._

**Truly,**

**Joker is Poker with a J~**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize. Everything you DO recognize belong to their respective owners. **


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